Nautical Humor

This month... a few things to ponder as the days grow shorter, the fish are fewer, and the sun is cooler.
Is a leak in the back of a boat a stern warning?
Why is it called a lighthouse when it weighs so much?
If a cruise ship has a part time band conductor aboard, does that mean he's a semi-conductor?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look that way?
If white wine goes with fish, shouldn't white grapes go with sushi?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what are fog horns made of?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Do the Australians call the rest of the world, "up over"?
If wood boats are made of wood, and fiberglass boats made of fiberglass, then what are airboats made of?
Are flagships made of nylon, or cotton?
Do hydroplanes evaporate?
Are power-boats used only by weight lifters?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why is it when a hatch is slightly open it's ajar, but when a jar is slightly open it's not a-hatch?
Stupid Human Boating Tricks | from the iboats.com Forums

As always, Stupid Human Boating Tricks from our very own iboats.com Forums
By this time in the boating season, a little humor helps us keep life in perspective. According to one contributor, "We post our own mistakes to help others learn from them, and to have a little laugh at ourselves. It's a good thing to do...laughing at yourself." We offer a couple of entries this month to help you do just that – laugh.
Stupid Human Boating Trick #1
"I will admit to this one at least. A friend and I were out on a shallow, no motor lake at 0600 hours. The mist was coming of the lake as the day was beginning. My friend and I rowed out to one side of the lake and dropped anchor. Didn't catch anything, so after about half hour decided to move. I was talking to the friend as we were rowing (for about 15 minutes) and when I looked off at the bank I noted my pickup was still in the same spot as it was when we stopped the first time. Looked over board and found a 20 foot zigzag on the bottom where I was dragging anchor. Boy, got a good laugh out of that one." [This was submitted by a member who declared himself an "unofficial member of the Redneck Yacht Club."]
Stupid Human Boating Trick #2
"One day out on the lake I started getting an "overheat" warning. I was upset about this for two reasons:
1) Lost time on water,
2) I had just replaced the water pump a few months ago."
"Anyway, I came back to the ramp, put boat on the trailer, and stowed all the equipment. Then I went to the back of boat to strap her down and what do you think I found on the lower unit ... MUFFS!!!!"
"What a dumb***** I felt like. After a quick look around to see if anyone else noticed the muffs on my lower unit, back down the ramp I go. Had a great rest of day on lake and haven't told anyone (including the wife) about this until now. Luckily it was a weekday and not many boaters were around to laugh at me! Anyone else done this before?"
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