Nautical Humor

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Stupid Human Boating Tricks

...Just took the boat out with my wife 2 sons and parents who are visiting from out of state. I wanted to see the sunset from the boat and then watch the fireworks. Well, I threw the anchor and shut down the boat. When I went to restart the boat it cranked for a few seconds without starting, so I pumped the throttle a few times and must have flooded it, because it cranked for like 10 seconds without starting ...

In its early years of creation, Operation Dry Water is gaining significant airtime and truly making an impact on the boating community. Many boaters assume that maritime laws differ greatly from those on the road, and that with less traffic on the water, the risks of drinking and boating are less severe. From an insurance standpoint, however, your boat insurance will increase significantly if you are charged with a DUI or DWI - the two modes of transportation are interrelated. In fact, one of the penalties of receiving a BUI (Boating Under the Influence) is loss of driving privileges.

As with many things in life, the basic working principles of something get pushed aside in our minds. This is often due to worrying about work, getting the bills paid, and running the kids to school and practice. Once we make it to the water with our boat we are more than ready to relax our mind and enjoy the down time. One of the many ways our sacred time on the water can be spoiled is by a boat that doesn’t perform to its fullest potential. Often times this can be addressed by just being sure that the thing that transfers all the power of our engine(s) to the water; the propeller, is the right match for our boat and activities.

Overheating is a major cause of death for marine engines, including gas and diesel stern drives, inboards and outboard motors. In fact some industry statistics say as many of 70% of all premature engine deaths emanate from the malady. Saving the day, some modern power plants have engine warning systems that literally sound the alarm when the temperature begins to rise towards dangerous temperatures. When that happens, onboard firmware automatically reduces rpm so the boat can, in most cases, limp home. That technology is a great fail safe. But what would be even better is some kind of plan to prevent the overheating in the first place. With that in mind here are some ideas to keep in mind.

As with any other learned skill, docking your boat takes practice, and like the rest of us in the boating fraternity, you’ll make some mistakes along the way, but your boat handling skills will improve every time you pull up to the dock. To keep things simple, we’ll go over two typical docking scenarios: parking your boat alongside of a dock, and backing into a slip. We’re intentionally omitting the dozens of real-world variables (weather, tides, the various types of docks, etc.) to focus on the fundamentals of getting your boat to the dock safely.

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Heinz then exchanged a few words of German with the MP guard. Then he turned back. “Donald Walter, American boy, will you be my friend? I can give you some nuts to take home to your mutti . . . er . . . mother.” He smiled at me, “Are you named Walter, also? You look English to me. I like Englishmen, but Americans have treated me best.”

Lighten up your day and enjoy a few select “unbelievable” images from our I Love Boating Facebook page!

Enjoy our humor feature of boating cartoons drawn by renowned cartoonist Jerry King. You can view new boating cartoons regularly on our website, follow this link for more cartoons.

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