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  Ask the Experts – Prepping For Winter Red Sky at Night with JB Cornwell Nautical Humor – Spooky Jokes Stupid Human Boating Tricks An In-Depth Guide to Fishing Cork Featured Products and Specials

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Nautical Humor | Spooky Jokes

What type of fish did the ghost catch?
Spookled Trout

What do ghouls usually order at Long John Silvers?
Freaks and Chips

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world at a depth of 20 feet. He noticed a guy at the same depth but he had on no SCUBA gear!
The diver went below another 20 feet, but the guy joined him.
The diver went below 25 feet more, and once again, the guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out his board and marker, and wrote, "How are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy grabbed the board, quickly erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!"

I heard a good one a while back, about a guy who named his boat "MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY". Everyone thought it was pretty funny until the first time he used his VHF. Needless to say, Coastguard were not very amused and he had to rename very quickly.

Stupid Human Boating Tricks

This happened about 20 years ago in Cape May, NJ.

We were on a family vacation in Cape May Courthouse, sometime during the summer months. My now-husband's family rented a house there for 2 weeks every year, right across the road from the beach. There were jetties along the beach, and the weather was perfect for crabbing. We left our flip-flops on the beach with the chairs, umbrella, and the rest of his family, and Joe and I went out on the jetty with our crab traps.

We were out there quite a long time, and we had caught dozens of crabs. We threw back the small ones and the pregnant ones, tossing them over our shoulders to the other side of the jetty.

The tide started to come in, and with it the direction of the waves shifted t to our backs. Needless to say, the crabs we had tossed began washing up at our feet, bent on revenge. We danced around a bit to avoid the claws, and decided to move inland along the jetty. Just about this time, as we counted ourselves lucky to escape with just minor scrapes, we heard a commotion on the beach.

We looked over in time to see a large crab run up out of the surf, grab one of Joe's flip flops, defiantly hold it high over its head like a trophy, and scurry back into the ocean.

We never saw that flip flop again...but we did have a delicious crab dinner that night.

Submitted by iboats Forum member Winenut

I'm about 12yrs old when my parents bought a used tri-hull with a Chrysler 105 or 115 outboard. First boat, backed into the driveway of a split level house where the garage is underneath one half of the upper level.

Part of his new winterizing routine was to remove the spark plugs and pour several ounces of oil into each cylinder. Then he cranks the motor over, to distribute the oil inside, and proceeds to paint the front of the house, both stories, with motor oil. , I'm rolling on the ground laughing, he was not as mom came out the front door wondering what that strange noise was on the side of the house.

Submitted by iboats Forum member Anon1

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