Corporate Lessons!!!!
>> >Corporate Lesson 1 <br /> > >> >> <br />> >> >> <br />> >> >> >A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing > >> >> >up <br />her <br />> >> >> >shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself <br />in <br />a <br />> >> >> >towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands <br />Bob, <br />> >> >> >the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll <br />give <br />> >> >> >you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the <br />woman <br />> >> >> >drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few <br />> >> >> >seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps <br />back <br />> >> >> >up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the <br />bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" <br />"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" <br /><br /> Moral of theStory: <br /><br />If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk <br />with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. <br /><br /> <br /> Corporate Lesson 2: <br /><br /> A priest offered a lift to a nun. She got in and crossed her <br />legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an <br />accident. <br />After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her <br />leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun <br />once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized <br />"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun <br />went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to <br />look <br />up Psalm 129. <br /> It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." <br /> <br /> Moral of the story: <br /><br />If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. <br /><br /> Corporate Lesson 3: <br /> <br /> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking <br />to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." <br /><br />"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." P00f! <br />She's gone. <br /> <br />"Me next! Me next! "Says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, <br />relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." P00f! He's gone. <br /> <br />"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, <br />"I want those two back in the office afterlunch." <br /> <br /> Moral of the story: <br />Always let your boss have the first say. <br /> Corporate Lesson 4: <br /> <br />>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" <br />The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. <br /> <br /> Moral of the story: <br />To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up. <br /><br /> Corporate Lesson 5: <br /> <br />A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." <br />"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull.<br /> <br />"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung <br />and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of <br />the tree. <br /> <br />The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. <br />Finally after a fourth night; there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.<br /><br /> Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. <br /> Moral of the story: <br /> Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there
>> >Corporate Lesson 1 <br /> > >> >> <br />> >> >> <br />> >> >> >A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing > >> >> >up <br />her <br />> >> >> >shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself <br />in <br />a <br />> >> >> >towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands <br />Bob, <br />> >> >> >the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll <br />give <br />> >> >> >you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the <br />woman <br />> >> >> >drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few <br />> >> >> >seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps <br />back <br />> >> >> >up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the <br />bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" <br />"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" <br /><br /> Moral of theStory: <br /><br />If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk <br />with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. <br /><br /> <br /> Corporate Lesson 2: <br /><br /> A priest offered a lift to a nun. She got in and crossed her <br />legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an <br />accident. <br />After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her <br />leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun <br />once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized <br />"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun <br />went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to <br />look <br />up Psalm 129. <br /> It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." <br /> <br /> Moral of the story: <br /><br />If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. <br /><br /> Corporate Lesson 3: <br /> <br /> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking <br />to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." <br /><br />"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." P00f! <br />She's gone. <br /> <br />"Me next! Me next! "Says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, <br />relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." P00f! He's gone. <br /> <br />"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, <br />"I want those two back in the office afterlunch." <br /> <br /> Moral of the story: <br />Always let your boss have the first say. <br /> Corporate Lesson 4: <br /> <br />>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" <br />The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. <br /> <br /> Moral of the story: <br />To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up. <br /><br /> Corporate Lesson 5: <br /> <br />A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." <br />"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull.<br /> <br />"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung <br />and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of <br />the tree. <br /> <br />The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. <br />Finally after a fourth night; there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.<br /><br /> Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. <br /> Moral of the story: <br /> Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there
story of my life 
