SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
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- 17,651
"Drunk"<br /> <br />A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after<br />staring for some time at the only woman<br />seated at the bar, walked over to her and<br />kissed her.<br /> <br />She jumped up and slapped him silly. He<br />immediately apologized and explained,<br />"I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You<br />look exactly like her."<br /> <br />"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched,<br />no good drunk!" she screamed.<br /> <br />"Funny," he muttered, <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"you even sound exactly like her." 
<br />___________________________________________<br />"Lipstick"<br /> <br />"Can you explain to me how this lipstick<br />got on your collar ?" the suspicious wife<br />sneered.<br /> <br />"No, I can't." the husband replied. "I distinctly<br />remember taking my shirt off." <br />_____________________________________________<br />"Late for Date"<br /> <br />After waiting more than an hour and a half<br />for her date, the young lady decided she<br />had been stood up. She changed from<br />her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers,<br />fixed some popcorn and resigned herself<br />to an evening of TV.<br /> <br />No sooner had she flopped down in front<br />of the TV than her doorbell rang. There<br />stood her date.<br /> <br />He took one look at her and gasped, "I'm<br />two hours late . . . and you're still not ready?"<br />
<br />___________________________________________<br />"Lipstick"<br /> <br />"Can you explain to me how this lipstick<br />got on your collar ?" the suspicious wife<br />sneered.<br /> <br />"No, I can't." the husband replied. "I distinctly<br />remember taking my shirt off." <br />_____________________________________________<br />"Late for Date"<br /> <br />After waiting more than an hour and a half<br />for her date, the young lady decided she<br />had been stood up. She changed from<br />her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers,<br />fixed some popcorn and resigned herself<br />to an evening of TV.<br /> <br />No sooner had she flopped down in front<br />of the TV than her doorbell rang. There<br />stood her date.<br /> <br />He took one look at her and gasped, "I'm<br />two hours late . . . and you're still not ready?"<br /> 
