SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
This is an old one, but a good one.<br />Talking about having a bad day. 
<br /><br />Here follows a tale of an accident report form filed<br />by a bricklayer:<br /><br />"I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident.<br />You ask for a fuller explanation and I trust the following<br />details will be sufficient. I was working alone on the<br />roof of a six-story building. When I completed my work<br />I found I had some bricks left over which later were<br />found to weigh 240lbs. Rather than carry the bricks<br />down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by<br />using a pulley. Securing the rope at ground level, I<br />went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded<br />the bricks into it. Then I went down to the ground and<br />untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow<br />descent of the 240lbs of bricks. You will note on the<br />accident reporting form that my weight is 135lbs.<br /><br />Needless to say i proceeded at a rapid rate up the<br />side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor I<br />met the barrel which was proceeding downward at<br />an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured<br />skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone.<br />Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not<br />stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two<br />knuckles deep in to the pulley.<br /><br />Fortunately I had regained my presence of mind and<br />was able to hold tightly on to the rope. At approximately<br />the same time, however, the barrel hit the ground and<br />the bottom fell out of the barrel . Now devoid of the<br />weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately<br />50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.<br /><br />I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the third floor,<br />I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two<br />fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations<br />of my legs and lower body.<br /><br />Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter<br />with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen<br />my injuries when i fell onto the pile of bricks and<br />fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.<br /><br />I am sorry to report, however, as I lay in pain on the<br />pile of bricks I again lost my composure and presence of<br />mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the<br />empty barrel begin its rapid descent back towards me..."<br />
<br /><br />Here follows a tale of an accident report form filed<br />by a bricklayer:<br /><br />"I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident.<br />You ask for a fuller explanation and I trust the following<br />details will be sufficient. I was working alone on the<br />roof of a six-story building. When I completed my work<br />I found I had some bricks left over which later were<br />found to weigh 240lbs. Rather than carry the bricks<br />down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by<br />using a pulley. Securing the rope at ground level, I<br />went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded<br />the bricks into it. Then I went down to the ground and<br />untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow<br />descent of the 240lbs of bricks. You will note on the<br />accident reporting form that my weight is 135lbs.<br /><br />Needless to say i proceeded at a rapid rate up the<br />side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor I<br />met the barrel which was proceeding downward at<br />an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured<br />skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone.<br />Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not<br />stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two<br />knuckles deep in to the pulley.<br /><br />Fortunately I had regained my presence of mind and<br />was able to hold tightly on to the rope. At approximately<br />the same time, however, the barrel hit the ground and<br />the bottom fell out of the barrel . Now devoid of the<br />weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately<br />50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.<br /><br />I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the third floor,<br />I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two<br />fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations<br />of my legs and lower body.<br /><br />Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter<br />with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen<br />my injuries when i fell onto the pile of bricks and<br />fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.<br /><br />I am sorry to report, however, as I lay in pain on the<br />pile of bricks I again lost my composure and presence of<br />mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the<br />empty barrel begin its rapid descent back towards me..."<br />