ehenry
Commander
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Messages
- 2,393
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:<br /><br /> 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."<br /><br /> 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."<br /><br /> 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."<br /><br /> 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."<br /><br /> 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."<br /><br /> 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."<br /><br /> 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"<br /><br /> 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."<br /><br /> 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."<br /><br /> 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."<br /><br /> 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."<br /><br /> 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is "LOW COST PROVIDER."<br /><br /> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:<br /><br /> 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has eveloped a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."<br /><br /> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."<br /><br /> 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."<br /><br /> 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."<br /><br /> 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He refers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."<br /><br /> 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."<br /><br /> 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL A$$" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."<br /><br /> 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."<br /><br /> 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."<br /><br />10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."<br /><br />11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
