SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
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- 17,651
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town,<br />every hotel room was taken. <br /><br />"You've got to have a room somewhere," he <br />pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." <br /><br />"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant<br />- an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and <br />he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell <br />you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in<br />adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm <br />not sure it'd be worth it to you." <br /><br />"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll<br />take it." <br /><br />The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast<br />bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" <br />asked the manager. <br /><br />"Never better." The manager was impressed. "No <br />problem with the other guy snoring, then?"<br /><br />"Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the Marine. <br /><br />"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. <br /><br />"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came<br />in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, <br />gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, <br />beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me." <br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />There was this male engineer, on a cruise<br />ship in the Caribbean for the first time.<br />It was wonderful, the experience of his<br />life. But, it did not last. A hurricane<br />came up unexpectedly. The ship went down<br />almost instantly.<br /><br />The man found himself, he knew not how,<br />swept up on the shore of an island. There<br />was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No<br />person, no supplies, nothing. The man<br />looked around. There were some bananas<br />and coconuts, but that was it. He was<br />desperate, and forlorn, but decided to<br />make the best of it. So for the next four<br />months he ate bananas, drank coconut<br />juice and mostly looked to the sea for a<br />ship to come to his rescue.<br /><br />One day, as he was lying on the beech<br />stroking his beard and looking for a ship,<br />he spotted movement out of the corner of<br />his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship?<br />No, from around the corner of the island<br />came this rowboat. In it was the most<br />gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at<br />least seen in 4 months. She was tall,<br />tanned, and her blond hair flowing in the<br />sea breeze gave her an almost ethereal<br />quality. She spotted him also as he was<br />waving and yelling and screaming to get<br />her attention. She rowed her boat towards<br />him.<br /><br />In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you<br />come from? How did you get here"? She<br />said, "I rowed from the other side of the<br />island. I landed on this island when my<br />cruise ship sank" "Amazing," he said, "I<br />didn't know anyone else had survived.<br />How many of you are there? Where, did you<br />get the rowboat? You must have been<br />really lucky to have a rowboat wash up<br />with you?"<br /><br />"It is only me," she said, "and the<br />rowboat didn't wash up, nothing else<br />did." "Well then," said the man, "how did<br />you get the rowboat?" "I made the rowboat<br />out of raw material that I found on the<br />island," replied the woman. "The oars<br />were whittled from Gum tree branches, I<br />wove the bottom from Palm branches, and<br />the sides and stern came from a tree".<br />"But, but," asked the man, "what about<br />tools and hardware, how did you do that?"<br />"Oh, no problem," replied the woman,<br />"on the south side of the island there is<br />a very unusual strata of alluvial rock<br />exposed. I found that if I fired It to a<br />certain temperature in my kiln, it melted<br />into forgeable ductile iron. I used that<br />for tools, and used the tools to make the<br />hardware.<br /><br />But, enough of that," she said. "Where<br />o you live?" At last the man was forced<br />to confess that he had been sleeping on<br />the beach.<br /><br />"Well, let's row over to my place," she<br />said. So they both got into the rowboat<br />and left for her side of island. The<br />woman easily rowed them around to a wharf<br />that led to the approach to her place.<br />She tied up the rowboat with a<br />beautifully woven hemp rope. They walked<br />up a stone walk and around a palm tree,<br />there stood an exquisite bungalow painted<br />in blue and white. "It's not much," she<br />said, "but I call it home. Sit down<br />please, would you like to have a drink?"<br />"No," said the man, "one more coconut<br />juice and I will puke." "It won't be<br />coconut juice," the woman replied, "I<br />have a still, how about a Pina Colada?"<br />Trying to hide his continued amazement,<br />the man accepted, and they sat down on<br />her couch to talk.<br /><br />After a while, and they had exchanged<br />their stories, the woman asked, "Tell me,<br />have you always had a beard?" "No," the<br />man replied, "I was clean shaven all of<br />my life, and even on the cruise ship."<br />"Well if you would like to shave, there<br />is a man's razor up stairs in the cabinet<br />in the bathroom." So, the man, no longer<br />questioning anything, went upstairs to<br />the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a<br />razor made from a bone handle, two shells<br />honed to a hollow ground edge were<br />fastened on to its end inside of a swivel<br />mechanism. The man shaved, showered and<br />went back down stairs<br /><br />"You look great," said the woman, "I<br />think I will go up and slip into<br />something more comfortable." So she did.<br />And, the man continued to sip his Pina<br />Colada. After a short time, the woman<br />returned wearing fig leafs strategically<br />positioned and smelling faintly of<br />gardenia. "Tell me," she asked, "we have<br />both been out here for a very long time<br />with no companionship. You know what I<br />mean. Have you been lonely, is there<br />anything that you really miss? Something<br />that all men and woman need. Something<br />that it would be really nice to have<br />right now." "Yes there is," the man<br />replied, as he moved closer to the woman<br />while fixing a winsome gaze upon her.<br />"Tell me.. Do you happen to have an<br />Internet connection?"
