SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Lawyer Tidbits" <br /> <br />It was soooo cold last winter (How Cold Was It!) that <br />I saw a lawyer with his hands in his OWN pockets! <br /> <br />Q. Say that you're trapped in a room with a tiger, a <br />rattlesnake and an attorney. You have a gun, but <br />only two bullets. What should you do? <br />A. Shoot the attorney. Twice. <br />____________________________________________________ <br />The "Lawyers Creed": A man is innocent until proven <br />broke. <br />____________________________________________________ <br />"Mafia Bookkeeper" <br /> <br />A Mafia Boss finds out that his bookkeeper has <br />screwed him for ten million bucks. The bookkeeper <br />is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit <br />and the reason he got the job in the first place. It <br />was assumed that since a deaf bookkeeper would <br />not be able to hear anything he'd never have to <br />testify in court. <br /> <br />When the Boss goes to shake down the bookkeeper <br />about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along <br />his attorney, who knows sign language. The Boss <br />asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks <br />you embezzled from me?" <br /> <br />The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper <br />where the 10 million dollars is hidden. <br /> <br />The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you're <br />talking about." <br /> <br />The attorney tells the Boss: "He says he doesn't know <br />what you're talking about." <br /> <br />That's when the Boss pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it <br />to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask <br />him again!" <br /> <br />The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for <br />sure if you don't tell him!" <br /> <br />The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money <br />is in a brown briefcase, <br />buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard <br />in Queens!" <br /> <br />The Boss asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" <br /> <br />The attorney replies: "He says you don't have it in you <br />to pull the trigger."
