LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
Y'all should have known that something like this would be in the making..Merry Christmas<br /><br />'Twas the night before capture...<br /><br />'Twas 13th December, when deep in Iraq,<br />the 4th I.D. had a big enemy to track.<br />Saddam's stockings were smelly from months on the lam,<br />In hopes that Dean or Kerry would soon take command;<br />Our soldiers were nestled in their desert humvees,<br />they'd been told they were hunting Iraqi V.I.Ps;<br />And Saddam with head lice infesting his cap,<br />Had just settled down for an Iraqi-type nap,<br />When out on the farm there arose such a clatter,<br />He sprang from his shack to see what was the matter.<br />Away to his hideout he flew in a snit,<br />Tore open his pants leaping into the pit.<br />The searchlight on the dictator now caught in our snare,<br />Gave the lustre of mid-day to his nasty wild hair.<br />When, what to our soldiers' wide eyes should appear,<br />But a bedraggled old dictator cowering in fear!<br />Beneath the dirty old beard and the lice in his mane,<br />They were amazed to discover that it was Saddam Hussein.<br />More rapid than eagles they called up old Rummy,<br />And he whistled, and shouted, and said, "This is yummy!"<br />"Now, Condi! Now, Sanchez! Now, Cheney and Bush!<br />On, TV! On Radio! And Free Republic! Let's Rush!<br />To the top of the news! Get this video on!<br />Call FNC first! Then Dan Rather and Tom!<br />As a gloved doctor examined the smelly old goat,<br />he shoved a big wooden stick down Saddam's nasty throat,<br />Around the world in a flash the footage it flew,<br />As the French and Russians gulped, wondering what we now knew.<br />And then, in a twinkling, we heard from our leader<br />as he confirmed the capture of the despotic bottom feeder.<br />As he concluded his announcement, they replayed the scene,<br />(We heard nothing from Clark and nothing from Dean).<br />Saddam was covered in filth, from his head to his foot,<br />And his clothes were all greasy, with ashes and soot;<br />A bundle of money he had flung on his back,<br />And he looked like a peddler who'd sold out to Chirac.<br />His eyes -- how they sagged! His dimples now pits!<br />His forehead was covered with curious zits!<br />His head was examined for vermin and lice,<br />Shaved his face of the beard that was his disguise;<br />A large piece of wood was probed in his mouth,<br />(And we don't even know if the gloved hand went south);<br />He still had a fat face but had lost his round belly,<br />His clothes were a shambles and his feet downright smelly.<br />He was skinny and drawn, the lying old coward,<br />And I laughed when I thought of the speech made by Howard;<br />But the spin of the media and a liberal talking head<br />Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;<br />Dean spoke not a word; Kerry went straight to work,<br />And tried to get airtime; (sounds just like the jerk),<br />Bush kept it short, not given to prose,<br />And giving a nod, up the polls he rose;<br />He sprang back to work, to his team gave a whistle,<br />And to D.C. they flew like the down of a thistle.<br />But I heard him exclaim, as he went on his way,<br /><br />"Happy Christmas to all, and God Bless the USA!"