You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

aspeck

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19,126
1. You let your 14yr old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
and finally.....
An East Texas Couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children, would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
 

stevieray

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Jul 18, 2006
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1,135
Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

This was funny back when you could take a gallon can to the gas station & say gimme a quarter's worth & it wouldn't be full. :|
 

i386

Captain
Joined
Aug 24, 2004
Messages
3,548
Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."


It's hey Y'ALL watch this. Get it straight! :)
 

aspeck

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May 29, 2003
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19,126
Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

Yunz has ta unnerstan, there is a diferance batween a sutharn redneck and a yankee redneck. Yunzes see, we warsh our clothing onct a yar, iffin it needs it or not!
 

snapperbait

Vice Admiral
Joined
Aug 20, 2002
Messages
5,754
Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

Yasir!...

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

ummmm.. this might apply ta mee... idunno...

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

yasir... See, I knowd sheez outta my league, ya'll.. cause I can't bowl a lick.... don't matter what nite...
 

CJY

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Jun 19, 2005
Messages
1,242
Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

"You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk."

d:)d:)d:)d:)d:)
 

Bob_VT

Moderator & Unofficial iBoats Historian
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Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

:)
 

crunch

Commander
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Aug 1, 2006
Messages
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Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

Yep, knew it needed tie-downs.
 

crunch

Commander
Joined
Aug 1, 2006
Messages
2,844
Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

#1........

And what is this about my daughter... is there a problem here?
 

bassboy1

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jun 23, 2006
Messages
1,884
Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

Heres one I'm guilty of.
Ya brought more home from the dump than you took. $500 bimini top came back with us. Near perfect condition too.
 
D

DJ

Guest
Re: You Know Your an Extreme Redneck When ...

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."


"Hey, watch this-hold my beer"
 
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