Another on kids today

[HopeSheFloats]

We never had children of our own, yet we currently have three, two of which bark and one who purr's, but that's a different thread...what gets me and maybe some of you with children can expand on is...mouthiness & the language used from kids nowadays. I understand the changes they are going thru but some of this feeling of entitlement & back-talking that's beyond rude and often directed to the parents themselves or other adults just floors me at times. My folks were never too shy about laying down rules, and explaining what is tolerable and what's not. If I or one of my siblings would ever utter an ounce of disrespectful, or vulgar language we probably would have been knocked into the next week. Is it a parents love thing that lets these children get away with saying/acting as they please or what? It's not commonplace but it sure is beginning to feel that way at times. I see more and more of this behavior in front of their parents {&/or guardians}, and the adults just act like this is normal. What gives?

 

[redeye1962]

Re: Another on kids today

If I or one of my siblings would ever utter an ounce of disrespectful, or vulgar language we probably would have been knocked into the next week.

You said it right there. If a parent was to even lay a hand on a child they would have their children removed by the government. Spare the whip, spoil the child.

 

[Summer Fun]

Re: Another on kids today

A good butt whooping never hurt anyone !!.
Out here in cow country you still get a butt whooping if you disrespect your parents. .
Now go to the city and the young punks think they own the malls and sidewalks.
I turned out OK with afew butt whooping's from my parents with no brain damage . I think ??

 

[JB]

Re: Another on kids today

I think the lack of corporal punishment is a contributor, but only a minor one.

I never hit any of my children after the age of about 3, when spanking was discontinued in favor of negotiated consequences of misbehavior.

First event was an interview to compare the behavior with the "rules" of polite behavior. Once the perp agreed that (s)he had committed a violation, possible consequences were discussed (not including any physical violence).

The perpetrator was allowed to suggest the nature and magnitude of a negative consequence that met this test: "If this was going to happen every time I did that misbehavior I would be very unlikely to do it again." Consequences usually involved denial of access to favorite activities. . .TV time, Stereo time, movies, company, car. . .or added responsibility. . .kitchen chores, yard chores, household chores. . .for a reasonable period. My role was usually to reduce the sentence they suggested for themselves.

Parents today don't take the time to deal with bad behavior in an unemotional, rational, objective and consistent manner. Of course, few parents ever did and most of us grew into respectable people anyway.

Todays foul mouthed, defiant youngsters will mostly grow into respectable people, too, because life will administer the bad consequences of bad behavior. Unfortunately, too many times the consequences include free room and board supplied by the State.

 

[Summer Fun]

Re: Another on kids today

Todays foul mouthed, defiant youngsters will mostly grow into respectable people, too,

JB, Don't hold your hopes up to high on that one !!.
They are nothing but young FREAKS that are out of control.
Would you hire a FREAK with more metal hanging off her / his face than you could stand to look at ??.
I've owned two company and NY state said I would have to hire them.
I got in big trouble with NY state over this.
I sold both company's because they [NY state ] tried to run MY company's !!
Telling me who I had to hire. !!.
These Kids today aren't worth a p*ss in the wind.
PS If you yelled at them for NOT doing their JOB they turned your ***** in to the labor board. Now how wrong is that ??

 

[JB]

Re: Another on kids today

Well, SF. We disagree.

One of the negative consequences of misbehavior and defiance is being turned down for jobs or losing jobs.

Yelling at them has already been proved ineffective except to interfere with the quality of life and blood pressure of the yeller.

There are at least a couple of fine young members here who are examples of replacing defiance and profanity with courtesy and respect by treating them as adults and with respect for their ideas.

 

[10thHawk]

Re: Another on kids today

You said it right there. If a parent was to even lay a hand on a child they would have their children removed by the government. Spare the whip, spoil the child.

Agree with that. Dont have my own kids but around enough to see how different things are these days. I dont think a "time out" is a big deterrent to not do something bad, but it seems to be the common punishment these days. When I was a youngin I would have to fear the belt if I was bad, hence I was a pretty well behaved kid. Maybe they have it too easy. Ever get stuck behind a school bus that stops every 100 feet, door to door service? I had to walk almost half a mile to my bus stop in grammar school and my backpack didnt have wheels. lol Maybe I'm just getting grumpy as I get older.

 

[eaglejim]

Re: Another on kids today

I know if my Mom have had kids in this day and time Big Brother would have removed us,she had a wooden spoon (weapon of choice) and if we were bad well out came the spoon one day I decided I was a little older and a little faster and knowing she have had to lose a step I was going to out run her so off we go around the table ,kitchen,living room etc,well she caught me and that wooden spoon got busted on my back (sisters cheering in the background) I didn't think she could get any madder but when that spoon shattered as we like to say"her Yankee came out".Being there were 4 of us spread out over 7 years we were all punished a little bit different but the outcome was the same(all good).On my kids I have had to spank twice and from that point on I just had to raise my voice(they were a little smarter than I was)

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Another on kids today

imho, the $$$$ get is the way today. if people lived as simply as we did when i grew up, things would be different. i did grow up in an affluent neighborhood. but we all lived simply, the neighborhood grocery had charge accounts, the kids could go by a soda and crackers and charge them. But, if you tried to buy something they thought you should not, they called your parents.

we grew up in a 1200 sq ft house, those day a big house. Mom stayed home, Dad worked. we ran the neighborhood till the street lights came on, then off to home.

home work, chores were done, before play.

today, daycares, kindergarten, after school care raise the kids if they are lucky. some come home to an empty house with no directions.

the parent comes home, a lot of single parent homes, tired ready to relax. the kid ask something, the parent 1/2 hears and just says OK. sometimes just to be left alone.

people don't need 2-5,000 sq.ft. houses. i have been happiest in a 600 sq ft 2 br house.

it is time to go back to the basics, simplicity.

 

[kei9th]

Re: Another on kids today

i dont come from a yes sir no maam house, but i use those terms on a daily basis because i know to respect my elders. we were never abused but when the woopins came they were terrible. moy mom said that there was never a spoon or spatula cause i would hid them. my child will always say yes sir no sir to his elders but i dont need him to call me sir. i use time out now for a two year old, but as jeff foxworthy says i will take time out of my day to whoop his ***. i dont fear the government and i will discipline my boy. how do you get mad when they blow up the neighbors mailbox? you know its funny your just mad he didnt come get you to see it.

 

[puddle jumper]

Re: Another on kids today

Most kids in my opinion are just screaming to be noticed or be different. The what sounds like disrespecting of the family(that I don't like) is there attempt to act like there grown up. I don't think any generation is different. We all had our ways of disgusting the adults of our time one way or another. In my day it was tight jeans , KISS records and boys with earrings.

 

[HopeSheFloats]

Re: Another on kids today

I don't have much of a problem with how they dress or what they listen to{though not fond of a lot of either}. What gets me is these kids telling their folks they ARE NOT going to eat there, or saying things like don't interrupt mom{dad} can't you see I'm on the phone...things like that would of had me seeing double for days. I'm not advocating physical violence, but something anything more than that deer caught in the headlights look.

I have 21 nephew & niece's from my side alone, so it's not like I don't see first hand...when most of them were younger we would bring them{1 or 2 at a time} over for a night or weekend, even vacation trips, and never had any problems once we set the rules..they didn't like it, simply handed them a phone and told them to call for a ride home.

My dad's favorite line comes to mind..."My way or the highway". Makes me think most of the {lets say} lazier or lacking parents are almost afraid of their kids.

 

[Summer Fun]

Re: Another on kids today

Makes me think most of the {lets say} lazier or lacking parents are almost afraid of their kids.

Yep !!. I just got back from my friend Phil's house.
I had to grab his son Brandon and throw him against the wall.
He came home and started calling HIS mother a ***** and she's no good
Phil stood there and said NOTHING to him !!!!
I said Phil what in the heck is going on here ??
He said OH Brandon is always like that.
Now I see why lions eat their young cubs.

 

[Mike Robinson]

Re: Another on kids today

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond
words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise
[disrespectful] and impatient of restraint"

(Hesiod, 8th century BC).

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for
authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of
exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their
households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They
contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties
at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."

(Attributed to Socrates circa 400 BC)

"The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of
today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for
parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as
if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is
foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest
and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."

(Peter the Hermit, A.D. 1274)

 

[DJ]

Re: Another on kids today

imho, the $$$$ get is the way today. if people lived as simply as we did when i grew up, things would be different. i did grow up in an affluent neighborhood. but we all lived simply, the neighborhood grocery had charge accounts, the kids could go by a soda and crackers and charge them. But, if you tried to buy something they thought you should not, they called your parents.

we grew up in a 1200 sq ft house, those day a big house. Mom stayed home, Dad worked. we ran the neighborhood till the street lights came on, then off to home.

home work, chores were done, before play.

today, daycares, kindergarten, after school care raise the kids if they are lucky. some come home to an empty house with no directions.

the parent comes home, a lot of single parent homes, tired ready to relax. the kid ask something, the parent 1/2 hears and just says OK. sometimes just to be left alone.

people don't need 2-5,000 sq.ft. houses. i have been happiest in a 600 sq ft 2 br house.

it is time to go back to the basics, simplicity.

A lot of truth to those statements. I'll add that we live in a society that promotes non responsibility.

We punish achievers and herald the slackers.

 

[paulspaddle]

Re: Another on kids today

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond
words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise
[disrespectful] and impatient of restraint"

(Hesiod, 8th century BC).

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for
authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of
exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their
households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They
contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties
at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."

(Attributed to Socrates circa 400 BC)

"The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of
today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for
parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as
if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is
foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest
and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."

(Peter the Hermit, A.D. 1274)

Thanks Mike! You nailed it.

Boys, you are getting old. You've lost intimate understanding touch with the young generation, it's ok, it's natural. You don't text like they do, use a computer like they do, share social networking, etc. This separation has brought objectiveness and criticism.

Each generation feels the next is going to 'hell in a handbasket'. They dwell on the few that make their point and ignore the majority.

I'm in the schools and I will tell you there are lots of good and great kids out there.....THEY are the majority. And sure there are the bad apples.

Stay optimistic, the next generation will be different as it always is....it will be fine.

 

[Tabes117]

Re: Another on kids today

Now a days both parents are working. Kids get dropped off at daycare. Parents expect other people to raise them. Parents come home tired and plop their kids in front of the TV. They spend hours watching crap.

 

[lowkee]

Re: Another on kids today

I hear the noise level going up in public places (grocery store being a biggie) from all directions, young and old alike. It seems respect for others has been universally forgotten. The age of cell phones has not helped at all. You have people yapping away or arguing with someone on their cell phone while checking out or waiting in line. I must say, I see the respect level being lost on the middle-aged folks (30-50) WAY faster than children. Maybe our children will knock some sense back into US!

 

[redeye1962]

Re: Another on kids today

Thanks Mike! You nailed it.

Boys, you are getting old. You've lost intimate understanding touch with the young generation, it's ok, it's natural.

who are you calling old I am only.........................OMG I AM old

 

[PW2]

Re: Another on kids today

There is nothing quite as annoying as other people's kids.