100%

rwise

Captain
Joined
Jul 5, 2001
Messages
3,205
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: <br /><br />What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? <br /><br />Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? <br /><br />We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. <br /><br />How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? <br /><br />Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these <br /><br />questions: <br /><br />If: <br /><br />A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z <br /><br />is represented as: <br /><br />1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.<br /><br />Then: <br /><br />H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K <br /><br />8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% <br /><br />and <br /><br />K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E <br /><br />11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% <br /><br />But, <br /><br />A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E <br /><br />1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% <br /><br />And, B-U-L-L-S-H-!-T <br /><br />2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% <br /><br />AND, look how far azz kissing will take you. <br /><br /> <br /><br />A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G <br /><br />1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% <br /><br />So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that:<br /><br /> While Hard work <br /><br />and knowledge will get you close, and, Attitude will get you there, <br /><br />Bullsh!t and azz kissing will put you over the top.<br /><br /> :rolleyes:
 

Toad2001

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 22, 2003
Messages
403
Re: 100%

On that note:<br /><br />HOW TO STAY AWAKE IN MEETINGS: --- (OFFERED AS A PUBLIC SERVICE)<br /><br />Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.<br /><br />1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,<br />prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size.<br />2. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.<br />3. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:<br />* synergy; * strategic fit; * core competencies; * best practice * bottom line; * revisit; * expeditious; * to tell you the truth (or "the truth is"); * out of the loop; * benchmark; * value-added; * proactive; * win-win; * think outside the box; * fast track; results-driven <br />* empower (or empowerment); * knowledge base; * at the end of the day; * touch base; * mindset; * client focus(ed); * paradigm; * game plan; * leverage; *dovetail; <br /><br />4. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.<br />5. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSH!T!"<br />Testimonials from satisfied "Bullsh!t Bingo" players:<br />-- "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."- Adam W., Atlanta<br />-- "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."- David T.,Florida<br />-- "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."- Dan J., New York City<br />- "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver<br />-- "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSH!T!' for the third time in two hours." -Paul P., Cleveland<br />FOREWARNED, IF YOU ARE PLAYEE; --- GOOD LUCK IF YOU ARE PLAYER.... :)
 

neumanns

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Mar 1, 2003
Messages
1,926
Re: 100%

I like them both, too bad I'll never remeber either one when the day comes that it would come in handy! ;)
 

boatingfool

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Nov 30, 2002
Messages
610
Re: 100%

rofl.gif
 

Link

Rear Admiral
Joined
Apr 13, 2003
Messages
4,221
Re: 100%

What neumanns said. But I am going to copy and send them to my wife :)
 
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