A bear walks into a bar......

[tswiczko]

A bear walks into a bar in Billings Montana walks up to the bar and tells the bartender "give me a beer".

The bartender says "We don't serve bears in bars in Billings Montana".

The bear says "give me a beer or I'll go down to the end of the bar and eat the woman that is sitting there"

The bar tender still refuses to serve the bear, so the bear goes down to the end of the bar and eats the woman and tells the bartender "If you don't give me a bee you'll be next"

To that the bartender says "we don't serve bears in bars in Billings Montana that are on Drugs".

"What"?,
"DRUGS"?
"What do you mean drugs"? The bear asks,"I don't do drugs, I just drink beer".

The bartender then tells the bear "That was a barbiturate"

 

[JB]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

 

[jims plan b]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

I see this one going the same way as the others ...:facepalm: in 3....2.....1......

 

[Pierutrus]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

0.......

 

[MTboatguy]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

Groan.........................................

Grrrrroooooaaaannn!

Bears can only get Beers in Bozeman Montana, geeze anyone knows that!

 

[Shamfarlango]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

Who doesn't like belligerent bear from billings?

Staying with the bar theme:

A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober. He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that cat coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I'd see four!"

The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he responds, "You're drunker than I thought!", taking the rest of the alcohol away, "That cat isn't coming in, it's going out!"

 

[JRJ]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

Good 1's

 

[CheapboatKev]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

A piece of rope hops up on the barstool and loudly demands a sot of whisky..
The bartender looks at the rope and says "Sorry, we dont serve rope here" nd gestured over his shoulder to a sign that in fact designated just that.
The rope is upset, but hops back down and heads outthe door.
Around the corner of the bar he stops a young man and says "Hey,I'll give ya five bucks if you unravel my ends"
The young man shrugs his shoulders and says "OK pal"
He does so, and as the rope is about to pay him the rope says..
For another TEN will you tie me in a clove hitch?
The young guy does so, gets paid and walks away
The rop now heads directly back to the ba, hops up on the barstool and once again demands his scotch!
The bartender looks long at the rope and says "Saaaaaay..Aren't you that piece of rope I jut kicked outta here??!"
The rope looks him in the eye and says...


"No, I'm AFRAID NOT"

 

[inchworm]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

You can tell that no one is working on boats. LOL

 

[southkogs]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

You can tell that no one is working on boats. LOL

LOL ... good one

So - A priest, a duck and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "hey, what is this? Some sorta' joke?"

... wait for it ...

 

[rbh]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

The canadian versions

"We don't serve big brown bears beers in the bars in Banff"

rest is the same.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: A bear walks into a bar......

Zebra and a giraffe go into a bar, zebra goes up to order the drinks, the giraffe goes looking for a seat. The bartender says to the zebra as he looks over "whats that lying there"
Zebra replies "It's not a lion it's a giraffe"