Bassy
Lieutenant Commander
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2003
- Messages
- 1,795
Profound Statments <br />1) Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapeños -- you never know what's going to burn your *** . <br />2) I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. <br />3) Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. <br />4) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again. <br />5) I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem. <br />6) Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling? <br />7) My reality check bounced. <br />8) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. <br />9) I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier ! <br />10) You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. <br />11) Everyone is someone else's weirdo. <br />12) Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience. <br />13) Be careful . . .a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. <br />14) Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted. <br />15) The more CRAP you put up with, the more CRAP you are going to get. <br />16) You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. <br />17) So this isn't Home Sweet Home . . . Adjust! <br />18) Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself! <br />19) I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. <br />20) Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. <br />21) I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump. <br />22) What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it! Ouch! 
<br />23) How can you tell which bottle contains her PMS medicine? It's the one with bite marks on the cap! <br />---------------------------------
<br />23) How can you tell which bottle contains her PMS medicine? It's the one with bite marks on the cap! <br />---------------------------------
