A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."<br /><br />"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."<br /><br />"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."<br /><br />"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."<br /><br />"Well, o.k. but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"<br /><br />"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, <br />really."<br /><br />"What about that eye patch?'<br /><br />"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."<br /><br />"You're kidding," said the bartender. "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird crap."<br /><br />"It was my first day with the hook." 
