LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
1. So your daughter's a hooker,<br />and it spoiled your day.<br />Look on the bright side,<br />it's really good pay.<br /><br />2. My tire was thumping,<br />I thought it was flat.<br />When I looked at the tire...<br />I noticed your cat.<br />Sorry!<br /><br />3. Heard your wife left,<br />How upset you must be!<br />But don't fret about it...<br />She moved in with me.<br /><br />4. Looking back over the years<br />that we've been together,<br />I can't help but wonder --<br />What the hell was I thinking?<br /><br />5. Congratulations on your wedding day!<br />Too bad no one likes your husband.<br /><br />6. How could two people as beautiful as you...<br />Have such an ugly baby?<br /><br />7. I always wanted<br />someone to hold,<br />someone to love.<br />After having met you...<br />I've changed my mind.<br /><br />8. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...<br />I never believed in hell until I met you.<br /><br />9. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...<br />That you're not here to ruin it for me.<br /><br />10. Congratulations on your promotion!<br />Before you go...would you like to take<br />this knife out of my back? You'll probably<br />need it again.<br /><br />11. Someday I hope to get married...but not to you.<br /><br />12. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...<br />Almost lifelike!<br /><br />13. When we were together,<br />you always said you'd die for me.<br />Now that we've broken up<br />I think it's time you kept your promise.<br /><br />14. We've been friends a very long time...<br />what say we stop?<br /><br />15. I'm so miserable without you...<br />it's almost like you're here.<br /><br />16. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.<br />Did you ever find out who the father was?<br /><br />17. Your friends and I wanted to do<br />something special for your birthday...<br />so we're having you put to sleep.<br /><br />18. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!<br />(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia & Nebraska & Michigan)
