Carl did it again

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Well it looks like my son didn't take his meds wednesday morning like he should have. Instead he sold them to a friend of his. <br /><br />Later in the evening, my wife and I noticed that he was really energetic and hyper. We asked him if he took his meds and he said he did. Bad thing is that we know from the last 3 weeks how his behavior has been with the meds. Wednesday night was different. <br /><br />It started when he wanted a pack of smokes. I told him NO since he failed to do his daily chores as he was surposed to do to earn his smokes. At this point is when he started getting mad. I told him if he insisted on cussing me out that he would not get to go sleigh riding with his friend. He then told me that I couldn't change my mind because it was wrong for me to change my mind. He continued on cussing me out, degrading me showing zero respect. So I told him since he was so mad that he will not go sleigh riding. I STOOD MY GROUND and said NO your not going. <br /><br />Then the ruckus really kicked up alot. He wanted to call his PO and tell him I was being unfair. So I picked up the phone, dialed 911. The sheriff showed up about 15 min later. They finally got him calmed down. He told them to take him. The sheriff said that he didn't do anything criminal and couldn't take him. So the idiot tells the sheriff that after they leave he was going to kill himself. Then the sheriff said "well now we got to pink slip you and take you to the hospital for observation.<br /><br />The hospital did a drug test. He flunked the THC part of it. (dumb-butt) Now he is in violation of his probation. Now he has to do 30 day in Juvie for the first offense that happened in December. Plus now with the violation of the probation he has another 30 days tacked on.<br /><br />I just feel like an old dog that has been beaten and kicked. I'm just at the point that I don't want to have anything to do with him due to the way he has been treating me. <br /><br />Counseling was surpose to start the next day after this had happened.<br /><br />I think tonight is going to be a good night to drink lots and lots of beer. I can deal with a hangover headache easier than the headache my son is giving me..
 

Homerr

Commander
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
2,294
Re: Carl did it again

Like I said before (and hate to say it)<br /><br />Some people just don't want to be helped.<br /><br />Sounds to me you've done your best. There's nothing more you can do. It's all up to him now.<br /><br />If he wants to be an adult, then he's going to learn it from the inside of a jail cell or nut house. So be it.<br /><br />Sorry things didn't work out.<br /><br />H.
 

one more cast

Captain
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
3,143
Re: Carl did it again

I feel for you SS, We are going through the same thing with a 21 (almost 22 ) year old. The only way they would let him out of jail(4 DUI's and breaking probation) was if we would take him in. We about went crazy for the last 3 weeks, he will not follow rules,he went to rehab yesterday with booze on his breath so now he is in even bigger trouble.
 

neumanns

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Mar 1, 2003
Messages
1,926
Re: Carl did it again

My heart goes out to you :( Hang in there bud.
 

snapperbait

Vice Admiral
Joined
Aug 20, 2002
Messages
5,754
Re: Carl did it again

:( ... Sad.. Mayfloat, keep standing your ground and don't give him an inch! For some it just takes hitting rock bottom before they get it right...
 

aspeck

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
May 29, 2003
Messages
19,290
Re: Carl did it again

Keep standing SS. And tomorrow you will need all yoru faculties when you deal with the police, counselors, hospital staff, and Carl. With that in mind, don't muddle the head too much with the alcohol - show Carl there is a better way to deal with difficulty than using stimulants or suppressants. May be speaking out of turn and if I am, please forgive me.
 

Xcusme

Commander
Joined
Apr 21, 2003
Messages
2,888
Re: Carl did it again

Aspeck, you couldn't have said it better, my feeling exactly. Gotta show a good example to expect one in return.<br /><br />SS, hang in there bub, we're all pulling for ya' and Carl too !
 

RetNav

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Aug 14, 2003
Messages
758
Re: Carl did it again

SS, I truly know what you are going through and exactly how you feel. I went through multiple DUI's, B & E, Multiple bail-outs..etc...etc with my son. Finally I had to tell him that I would no longer support/defend any of his bull. Long story short, he finally at age 30+ got his act together and we had a few years of good time together, but lost him at age 34 from electrocution on the job under some very questionable circumstances that haven't been answered to this day (5 years later) and I suppose they will never be answered for me. All I could do was tell him I loved him but did not agree with his actions. Still miss him though. <br /> Hang in there and maybe it will come around. I believe it was Mark Twain that said upon leaving home how dumb his parents was, then after returning a few years later could not believe how much they had learned while he was away.
 

FLATHEAD

Captain
Joined
Dec 29, 2002
Messages
3,542
Re: Carl did it again

I feel for ya Mayfloat, This may sound harsh and some will not agree but the minute he turned 18 I would kick his sorry azz out of the house. If he is already 18 I would change the locks on the doors and not let him back home. Then he will be accountable to only one person,, himself. I would bet money that he will straighten out right quick.
 

POINTER94

Vice Admiral
Joined
Oct 12, 2003
Messages
5,031
Re: Carl did it again

Mayfloat,<br /><br />Deeply sorry for your situation. I have been following your personal challenge over the weeks. I have little experience other than what my dad did with myself and 2 brothers. There was no embarrassment, cost, or sacrifice too great to reach what he considered to be our full potential.<br /><br />When we did wrong we were forced to face up and pay for our mistakes. Period. If that meant that we had to completely change our plans or lifestyle then sobeit. Nothing good ever came from evadeing personal responsiblity to society and to ourselves. There are always consequences for our actions, some good, some bad.<br /><br />You have made the committment to your son. Your actions, sacrifices and obvious personal pain are setting the example that your son will need to climb out of the hole he has dug for himself. Stay the course and eventually he will see the light.<br /><br />You have chosen the course you think is best so confidently execute your plan. There is no need to second guess yourself as you are the one who is responsible for your son and he has demonstrated a COMPLETE inability to act in a fashion consistant with positive personal growth.<br /><br />Your sacrifice's now, will pay dividens when the day comes around that your son figures out what an idiot he has been. You will be the reason he has something to build on.<br /><br />Hang tough, and post if you feel the need.
 

mellowyellow

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jun 8, 2002
Messages
5,327
Re: Carl did it again

don't be too surprised SS, change takes time...<br />more for some than others. act, don't react and<br />stay on course no matter what.<br />that said, MY heart goes out to you buddy.<br />oh but for the grace of god go I.<br />we r all pullin 4 u!<br />best of luck,<br />M.Y.
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: Carl did it again

Thanks for the support crew mates. Carl turns 18 in mid August. The hospital called and said the doc is going to keep him in longer to get his meds adjusted. <br /><br />By the way, I didn't get drunk last night, but I did have my limit of 3. That is all I will ever drink at a time, any more and the ole head will pound for sure.<br /><br />When my buddies and I grew up, we did our share of activities that adults wouldn't approve of. What gets me is he doesn't care if he gets caught or not. He just flaunts it in front of me.<br /><br />One of the things that I have told him that I disapprove of is dating several girls at once. He tells them that they are the only one that he is seeing. This really makes me mad. Yeah I've been married 4 times, but I have never cheated on any of them. One at a time is enough for me. But he just keeps stringing them along.<br /><br />Just about all of his male friends have quit seeing him because of his foul mouth.<br /><br />Hopefully the counseling will help both of us. I just want him to be prepared for when he does turn 18. Told him that he is welcome to stay but must follow the house rules. Then once he moves out, that is it no coming back. That is the way it has been for the rest of the kids. <br /><br />The wife and I help the others out from time to time, but only to buy stuff for the grandkids. Their bills are theirs and they have been told that they will be responsible for them. Nobody helps me pay my bills and my parents while they were alive tried to help, but I would send the money back, even if I needed it.<br /><br />Well thanks again and I'll keep all of ya posted. I'm real tired. The company called this morning early about a large walkin cooler that wasn't working. Figures that a compressor went bad. Single diget temp, wind blowing plus the fans running, and I am frozen to the bone. Only took 6 hours to get the job done, plus two hours running around getting the parts I needed. I guess you could say that I have chilled out! :D
 

RICKRICK1

Ensign
Joined
Jun 24, 2002
Messages
926
Re: Carl did it again

Hang in there, Stand your ground, set the example for him especially when he becomes verably abusive. Know some of what you are going thru. Just know that we are here if you need a sounding board. <br /><br />Will remeber you and yours in my families prayers.
 

CCrew

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Sep 10, 2003
Messages
416
Re: Carl did it again

"I disapprove of is dating several girls at once"<br /><br />In his defense SS, it's why it's called "dating" and not "marriage". That said, stringing them along by telling them they're the "only" I agree is wrong...<br /><br />-Roger
 

GodsBeast

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 12, 2003
Messages
502
Re: Carl did it again

SS, I just wanted you to know, I'm still reading along, when I can catch up. SS at least he can't possibly try to accuse you of this time being your fault. His statement sealed his fate!<br /><br />I still say, Batten down the hatches, Stay the course, stay alert through the storm, and calm waters are ahead. Never give up!
 
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