eeboater
Commander
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2004
- Messages
- 2,644
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? <br />Female customer: A white one... <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. <br />Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? <br />Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. <br />Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. <br />Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. <br />Customer: Your left or my left? <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? <br />Male customer: Hello... I can't print. <br />Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... <br />Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit! <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Customer: I have problems printing in red... <br />Tech support: Do you have a color printer? <br />Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? <br />Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. <br />Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? <br />Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. <br />Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. <br />Customer: OK <br />Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? <br />Customer: Yes <br />Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? <br />Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. <br />Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Customer: I can't get on the Internet. <br />Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? <br />Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. <br />Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? <br />Customer: Five stars. <br /> <br /> =============== <br /><br />Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? <br />Customer: Netscape. <br />Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. <br />Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br /><br />Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />Tech support: How may I help you? <br />Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. <br />Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? <br />Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. <br />Tech support: Are you running it under windows? <br />Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." <br /><br /> =============== <br /><br />And last but not least... <br /><br />Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." <br />Customer: I don't have a P. <br />Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. <br />Customer: What do you mean? <br />Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. <br />Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
