SlowlySinking
Master Chief Petty Officer
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2002
- Messages
- 897
NEW DRUGS DESIGNED FOR WOMEN! <br /><br />BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. <br /><br />MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such crummy lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now? Your place or mine?" <br /><br />ST. MOM'S WORT: A rare plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering her preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. <br /><br />EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that eliminates the "Empty Nest" melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. <br /><br />PEPTO-BIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases ****** size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. <br /><br />DUMMEROL: When taken with Pepto-bimbo, can cause lowering of IQ, causing enjoyment of loud country music and cheap beer. <br /><br />FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. <br /><br />JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your name, birthday, anniversary, phone number, or anything. <br /><br />ANTI-TALKS-IDENT: A potent spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories and grand-children pictures with total strangers. <br /><br />RAGAMET: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself. More time for TV.<br /> <br />DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for 8 hours! <br /> 
