Dont mess with a child

NOSLEEP

Commander
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
2,442
7 reasons not to mess with a child:<br /><br />A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher<br />said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human<br />because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very<br />small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.<br />Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a<br />human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get<br />to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to<br />hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".<br /><br /> <br /><br />A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while<br />they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each<br />child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working<br />diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm<br />drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God<br />looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,<br />the girl replied, "They will in a minute."<br /><br />A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her<br />five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor"<br />thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that<br />teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a<br />beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not<br />kill."<br /><br />One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the<br />dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has<br />several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette<br />head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some<br />of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that<br />you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs<br />turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a<br />while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are<br />white?"<br /><br />The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to<br />persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how<br />nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,<br />'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a<br />doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's<br />the teacher, She's dead."<br /><br />A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying<br />to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my<br />head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red<br />in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am<br />standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into<br />my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."<br /><br /> <br /><br />The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary<br />school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.<br />The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God<br />is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of<br />the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had<br />written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
 

Topmason

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Sep 30, 2003
Messages
236
Re: Dont mess with a child

Gotta love them kids, they say and do the darndest things. :D
 

gaugeguy

Captain
Joined
Jun 4, 2003
Messages
3,564
Re: Dont mess with a child

Hey Topmason, you gotta hate it when the kids say "Dad, make me a sword".
 

SeaMasterZ@aol.com

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
May 21, 2003
Messages
1,924
Re: Dont mess with a child

guage guy you cruel f((kup, thats not funny!!!<br /><br />of course, a bunch of little kids playing with wooden swords, he could say yanno kids, when i was yonger, i cut my finger off playing with wooden swords<br /><br />then SHOW EM THE THUMB<br /><br />hehehe<br /><br />talk about a mind f**k, now THATS funny!!!<br /><br /> :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
 

Topmason

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Sep 30, 2003
Messages
236
Re: Dont mess with a child

gauge,<br />Bothers me nadda bit.<br />I was using that saw again, same blade even, 2 weeks after my accident.<br />When I first picked it up, I looked at the blade and saw flesh and bone still clinging so I ran her through a 2x4 to clean it off.<br />Gonna build a rabbit hutch here today. ;)
 

gaugeguy

Captain
Joined
Jun 4, 2003
Messages
3,564
Re: Dont mess with a child

I didn't think it would, you seem to have a good sense of humor. If I thought you were a tad thin skinned I wouldn't have said it. You gotta laugh at yourself when you mess up, and I do a lotta laughin.
 
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