Tacklewasher
Lieutenant Commander
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2002
- Messages
- 1,588
(C&P from a fishing board)<br /><br />Entry from a Man's Diary..............<br />I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men &women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."<br /><br />One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman." I am thinking "what was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night so I went to sleep.<br /><br />The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed dept. store... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes, I said "lets get a pair for each outfit." We went to the jewelry dept. where she gets a<br />pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ... she was so excited.<br /><br />She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said it was OK.<br /><br />She was almost sexually excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when<br />she said "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cash register." <br /><br />I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "No honey, I don't feel like buying all of this stuff now." You should have seen her<br />face...it went completely blank. I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."<br /><br />I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008.
