SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
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- Aug 25, 2002
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Aging - <br />A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."<br /><br />"Really," answered the neighbor," What kind is it?"<br /><br />"Twelve thirty." 
<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />The Beaver<br /><br />An 80 year old man went to his doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80 year old says, "I've never felt better. I have an 18 year old bride who is pregnant with my child.<br /><br />What do you think about that?"<br /><br />The doctor considers his question for a minute and says, "I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella rather than his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his umbrella and went; "Bang, bang," and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"<br /><br />The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."<br /><br />The doctor replied, "My point exactly." <br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. <br />"Sixty is the worst <br />age to be," said the 60-year-old. You always feel like you have to pee. And <br />most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"<br /><br />"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you <br />can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet <br />all day and nothin' comes out!"<br /><br />"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." <br /><br />"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. <br /><br />"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a <br />flat rock; no problem at all." <br /><br />"Do you have trouble crapping?" <br /><br />"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."<br /><br />With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. <br />You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so <br />tough about being 80?"<br /><br />"I don't wake up until 7:00."
<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />The Beaver<br /><br />An 80 year old man went to his doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80 year old says, "I've never felt better. I have an 18 year old bride who is pregnant with my child.<br /><br />What do you think about that?"<br /><br />The doctor considers his question for a minute and says, "I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella rather than his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his umbrella and went; "Bang, bang," and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"<br /><br />The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."<br /><br />The doctor replied, "My point exactly." <br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. <br />"Sixty is the worst <br />age to be," said the 60-year-old. You always feel like you have to pee. And <br />most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"<br /><br />"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you <br />can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet <br />all day and nothin' comes out!"<br /><br />"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." <br /><br />"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. <br /><br />"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a <br />flat rock; no problem at all." <br /><br />"Do you have trouble crapping?" <br /><br />"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."<br /><br />With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. <br />You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so <br />tough about being 80?"<br /><br />"I don't wake up until 7:00." 