SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"You Know You Work In Corporate America If:"<br /><br />You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked<br />for three different companies.<br /><br />Your company welcome sign is attached with<br />Velcro.<br /><br />Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.<br /><br />The company logo on your badge is drawn on a<br />post-it note.<br /><br />When someone asks about what you do for a living,<br />you lie.<br /><br />You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.<br /><br />You learn about your layoff on CNN.<br /><br />Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you<br />lose your best jokes.<br /><br />Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.<br /><br />You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.<br /><br />Salaries of the members on the Executive Board<br />are higher than all the Third World countries annual<br />budgets combined.<br /><br />You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.<br /><br />It's dark when you drive to and from work.<br /><br />Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.<br /><br />"Communication" is something your group is having<br />problems with.<br /><br />You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.<br /><br />Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.<br /><br />Weekends are those days your spouse makes you<br />stay home.<br /><br />Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the<br />hospital.<br /><br />Art involves a white board.<br /><br />You're already late on the assignment you just got.<br /><br />When 100% of your time means 20 hours.<br /><br />You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and<br />jubilantly say, "Oh wow, thanks!"<br /><br />Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.<br /><br />Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few<br />minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed<br />up," and "I have an opportunity for you."<br /><br />Vacation is something you roll over to next year or<br />a check you get every January.<br /><br />Your relatives and family describe your job as<br />"works with computers."<br /><br />Change is the norm.<br /><br />Nepotism is encouraged.<br /><br />The only reason you recognize your kids is because<br />their pictures are hanging in your cube.<br /><br />You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.<br /><br />You read this entire list and understood it.