SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
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"Bus"<br /><br />One snowy Saturday, SBN was having a<br />coffee with his friend Snap, a city bus driver.<br />"What's new at transit, Snap?"<br /><br />"I got a commendation the other day."<br /><br />"Congratulations. What did you do?" SBN<br />asked.<br /><br />"Well, Tuesday, just after the start of my first<br />run of the day, a drunk got on the bus and fell<br />asleep. After watching people avoid the seats<br />near the drunk for one and a half loops of my<br />run, I finally took the man and dragged him off<br />the bus."<br /><br />SBN was shocked. "You got a commendation<br />for throwing a poor drunk off the bus and into<br />a snow bank?"<br /><br />"No, no." Snap replied. "On my next run, I noticed<br />the drunk was still lying in the snow so I dragged<br />him back into the warmth of the bus. Someone<br />saw me do that and phoned it in." 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Antifreeze"<br /><br />An RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) officer<br />whom we will call Miloman<br />stopped to help a stranded rider standing beside a<br />stalled motorcycle in the mountains. <br />It was<br />extremely cold, and the rider was heavily dressed<br />in a helmet, balaclave and snowmobile suit. <br />In a<br />muffled voice, the rider told the Mountie that the<br />carburetor was frozen.<br /><br />"Well, pee on it," Miloman said.<br /><br />"Can't," replied the rider.<br /><br />The helpful Milo took out his own equipment<br />and liberally hosed down the carburetor, and the<br />bike soon fired up.<br /><br />A few days later, the local department received<br />a thank you note from a father, grateful for the<br />roadside assistance his young daughter had<br />received from the RCMP. <br />__________________________________________________<br />"Are Your The Opposite Sex Or Am I?"<br /><br />Two babies were sat in their cribs, when one<br />baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl<br />or a little boy?"<br /><br />"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.<br /><br />"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the<br />first baby.<br /><br />"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference,"<br />was the reply.<br /><br />"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling. "I'll<br />climb into your crib and find out." He carefully<br />maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib,<br />then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets.<br />After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with<br />a big grin on his face. "You're a little girl, and<br />I'm a little boy," he said proudly.<br /><br />"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl,<br />"but how can you tell?"<br /><br />"It's quite easy, really," replied the proud baby boy,<br />"you've got pink booties and I've got blue ones."<br /><br />And just what were you thinking?
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Antifreeze"<br /><br />An RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) officer<br />whom we will call Miloman<br />stopped to help a stranded rider standing beside a<br />stalled motorcycle in the mountains. <br />It was<br />extremely cold, and the rider was heavily dressed<br />in a helmet, balaclave and snowmobile suit. <br />In a<br />muffled voice, the rider told the Mountie that the<br />carburetor was frozen.<br /><br />"Well, pee on it," Miloman said.<br /><br />"Can't," replied the rider.<br /><br />The helpful Milo took out his own equipment<br />and liberally hosed down the carburetor, and the<br />bike soon fired up.<br /><br />A few days later, the local department received<br />a thank you note from a father, grateful for the<br />roadside assistance his young daughter had<br />received from the RCMP. <br />__________________________________________________<br />"Are Your The Opposite Sex Or Am I?"<br /><br />Two babies were sat in their cribs, when one<br />baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl<br />or a little boy?"<br /><br />"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.<br /><br />"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the<br />first baby.<br /><br />"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference,"<br />was the reply.<br /><br />"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling. "I'll<br />climb into your crib and find out." He carefully<br />maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib,<br />then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets.<br />After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with<br />a big grin on his face. "You're a little girl, and<br />I'm a little boy," he said proudly.<br /><br />"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl,<br />"but how can you tell?"<br /><br />"It's quite easy, really," replied the proud baby boy,<br />"you've got pink booties and I've got blue ones."<br /><br />And just what were you thinking?