SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Ours?"<br /><br />Doctor and his wife are having dinner at an upscale<br />restaurant when an attractive young blonde walks by,<br />smiles at the Doctor and says, "Hi Sammy."<br /><br />The wife, somewhat irritated, asks, "And who is that?"<br /><br />Dr. says, "Oh, that's my Mistress."<br /><br />Wife asks, "You have a Mistress? How long has<br />this been going on?"<br /><br />Dr.: "About five years."<br /><br />Wife: "Five years? I'll see a lawyer tomorrow and<br />start a divorce. You'll be ruined."<br /><br />Dr.: "Now think about it, if we divorce we each get<br />half of what we have. You won't have that big house,<br />you won't get a new Cadillac every year and you<br />won't be playing golf and bridge all day with your<br />so called friends."<br /><br />Just then a cute redhead walks by and says,<br />"Hi Sammy."<br /><br />Wife: "And who is that one?"<br /><br />Dr.: "That's Bill Grant's Mistress."<br /><br />Wife: "Doctor Grant has a Mistress, too?"<br /><br />Dr.: "About twelve years now."<br /><br />Wife: "Ours is a lot prettier." 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"The Gambler"<br /><br />Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch<br />to go home. He walked into the house and found<br />his wife Fanny in the arms of another man. He<br />started to yell at the interloper, "What right have<br />you got to be making love to my wife?"<br /><br />The man answered calmly, "You may as well know<br />that I am in love with Fanny, and I would like to marry<br />her. I understand you're a gambler. Why don't you<br />be a good sport and sit down and play a game of<br />gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again;<br />if you lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?"<br /><br />"Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little<br />more interesting, why don't we play for a dollar a<br />point?" <br />__________________________________________________<br />"Power Dreaming"<br /><br />Saddam Hussein had a dream and called President<br />George W. Bush to tell him about it.<br /><br />"I had a dream about the United States. I could see<br />the whole country and over every building and home<br />was a banner," said Saddam.<br /><br />"What was on the banners?" asked Bush.<br /><br />"LONG LIVE SADDAM HUSSEIN!!" answered the<br />Iraqi President.<br /><br />"I am so glad that you called," said President Bush,<br />"because I, too, had a dream. In my dream, I saw<br />Baghdad and it was more beautiful than ever, totally<br />rebuilt, and over every building and home was a big,<br />beautiful banner."<br /><br />"What did the banners say?" asked Saddam.<br /><br />"I don't know," answered Bush, "I can't read Hebrew."
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"The Gambler"<br /><br />Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch<br />to go home. He walked into the house and found<br />his wife Fanny in the arms of another man. He<br />started to yell at the interloper, "What right have<br />you got to be making love to my wife?"<br /><br />The man answered calmly, "You may as well know<br />that I am in love with Fanny, and I would like to marry<br />her. I understand you're a gambler. Why don't you<br />be a good sport and sit down and play a game of<br />gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again;<br />if you lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?"<br /><br />"Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little<br />more interesting, why don't we play for a dollar a<br />point?" <br />__________________________________________________<br />"Power Dreaming"<br /><br />Saddam Hussein had a dream and called President<br />George W. Bush to tell him about it.<br /><br />"I had a dream about the United States. I could see<br />the whole country and over every building and home<br />was a banner," said Saddam.<br /><br />"What was on the banners?" asked Bush.<br /><br />"LONG LIVE SADDAM HUSSEIN!!" answered the<br />Iraqi President.<br /><br />"I am so glad that you called," said President Bush,<br />"because I, too, had a dream. In my dream, I saw<br />Baghdad and it was more beautiful than ever, totally<br />rebuilt, and over every building and home was a big,<br />beautiful banner."<br /><br />"What did the banners say?" asked Saddam.<br /><br />"I don't know," answered Bush, "I can't read Hebrew." 
