SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"The New Preacher"<br /><br />The new preacher is nervous about hearing<br />confessions, so he asks the older preacher<br />to sit in on his sessions. The new preacher<br />hears a couple of confessions, then the old<br />preacher asks him to step out of the confessional<br />for a few suggestions.<br /><br />The old preacher suggests, "Cross you arms<br />over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand."<br /><br />The new preacher tries this.<br /><br />The old preacher suggests, "Try saying things like,<br />'I see, yes, go on, and I understand. How did you<br />feel about that?'" The new preacher says those things.<br /><br />The old preacher says, "Now, don't you think that's<br />a little better than slapping your knee and saying<br />'No kidding?!? What happened next?'"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"New Ideas"<br /><br />Two priests were talking. The older one<br />said to the younger, "When you came to<br />our church I wondered how your new ideas<br />were going to work.<br /><br />"When you replaced the front pews with<br />bucket seats, I had my doubts. But now<br />at every mass, the front seats are filled<br />with young people.<br /><br />"When you 'jazzed up' the choir by singing<br />new and peppy songs, I was afraid it might<br />offend the older folks, but we have more people<br />in church now than ever.<br /><br />"When you wanted to put in the drive-through<br />confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd<br />lost it. But more people are coming to<br />confession than ever.<br /><br />"However, the neon sign out front that reads:<br />'Toot 'n tell or go to Hell' has to go!<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Murphy and the Young Bride"<br /><br />Then there's the old Irish story about Murphy<br />and his young bride. You see Murphy was 70<br />and his bride to be was only 20 years old. The<br />family was very upset and asked Father O'Brien<br />(Pat) to come over to talk some sense into Murphy.<br /><br />So Father Obrien sits down and has a long talk<br />with Murphy and finally he says, "Look Murphy,<br />with the difference in your ages, why, it could<br />be fatal!"<br /><br />Murphy says, "Well, Father, if she dies, she dies!"
