GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:<br /><br />1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.<br />2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.<br />3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the<br />second person.<br />4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.<br />5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.<br />6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.<br />7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.<br />8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.<br />9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.<br />10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.<br /><br />GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:<br /><br />1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.<br />2) Wrinkles don't hurt.<br />3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.<br />4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.<br />5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.<br />6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not<br />the joy.<br /><br /> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD<br /><br />1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.<br />2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.<br />3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while<br />you're down there.<br />4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a<br />rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.<br />5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody<br />bothers to ask you the questions.<br />6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.<br />7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.<br /><br /> THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:<br /><br /> 1) You believe in Santa Claus.<br /> 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.<br /> 3) You are Santa Claus.<br /> 4) You look like Santa Claus.<br /><br /> SUCCESS:<br /><br />At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.<br />At age 12 success is . . . having friends.<br />At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.<br />At age 20 success is . . . going all the way.<br />At age 35 success is . . . having money.<br />At age 50 success is . . . having money.<br />At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.<br />At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.<br />At age 75 success is . . . having friends.<br />At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.<br /><br /> Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.<br /><br />Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way BUT<br />never forget to remember the blessings that come each day.
