HOW DID YOU BREAK YOUR ARM?<br /><br /><br />Conditions were perfect, twelve below,<br />No feelings of numbness, except in my toes.<br />Twas a skiing trip early May,<br />A Tell me when were having fun, kind of day<br /><br />When one of the women needed a pit stop,<br />Her husband assured her thered be relief at the top.<br />Theres always a rest room at the top of the lift,<br />Put that at the top of your urgency list.<br /><br />Powder room, arent always up at the top,<br />For female skiers who need a pit stop.<br />He was wrong, of course, on that bright day in May,<br />And her urgency simply didnt go away.<br /><br />When nature hits the panic button, I want you all to know,<br />It doesnt help matters much when its twelve degrees below.<br />With time running out, her panic increased,<br />And her holiday spirit for the trip almost ceased.<br /><br />Her husband, picking up on the intensity of her pain,<br />Looked frantically around him, but it was all in vain.<br />Then an idea struck him she was dressed in white,<br />So she could go to the tree line where shed be out of sight.<br /><br />She retired to the tree line what a relief this would bring,<br />She began to disrobe to do her thing.<br />If ever youve parked on the side of a slope,<br />You know theres a right and wrong way I hope.<br /><br />Yup! You got it, on this bright spring day,,,,,,,,<br />Too late she realized she had parked the wrong way.<br />Steep slopes are unforgiving embarrassment took its toll,<br />There she was skiing backwards out of control.<br /><br />Bare bottom taking full breath of the breeze,<br />And her ski pants down around her knees.<br />Then all at once she simply lost hope,<br />When she realized shed skied onto another slope.<br /><br />You can imagine how skiers stopped to stare,<br />At this back-skiing lady reverse side still bare.<br />She continued skiing backwards, and bless my soul,<br />Anyone could see she was out of control.<br /><br />An unusual vista both left and right,<br />To see this back-skiing lady half dressed in white.<br />She skied under the ski lift, and sad to say,<br />She collided with a pylon that got in her way.<br /><br />The bad news was, you could tell at a glance,<br />That her arm was broken, and she couldnt pull up her pants.<br />At long last her husband arrived, and wouldnt you know <br />Immediately put an end to her nudi show.<br /><br />He summoned the ski patrol to help get her down,<br />To the little hospital at the edge of town.<br />At the Emergency Room, now your attention I beg,<br />They brought in a man with a broken leg.<br /><br />It would be a long time till this man could walk,<br />Howd you break your leg? she asked, to make talk.<br />It was the darndest thing, he winched as he spoke -<br />Im tellin you this, and it aint no joke.<br /><br />I was ridin the ski lift, and to my surprise,<br />Saw this woman skiing backwards right fore my eyes.<br />Her bare bottom hangin out right to the breeze,<br />And her ski pants down around her knees.<br /><br />I leaned too far over to see what twas about,<br />And danged if I didnt simply fall right out.<br />Then he looked at her face glowing red with alarm,<br />Tell me maam, he asked, Howd you break your arm?<br /><br />By C. Lybbert<br /><br />A brother of a friend here in Alberta.; He is a cowboy poet of sorts..
