How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

jtexas

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Oct 13, 2003
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For those who spank their children, I'm curious about at what point do you stop. Why am I asking? We never spanked the children we're raising, but they've only been in our custody since they were 7 and 9. Their grandparents say we spared the rod & spoiled the child (one of 'em is a model citizen, but the other, not so much).<br /><br />Wouldn't have spanked 'em anyway, but that's just personal preference - I have no basis to condemn the practice, so I'm politically neutral on it.<br /><br />So I'm conducting this scientific research, and will use the statistically significant results to prove them wrong! :) Really, just very, very curious.<br /><br />Let's exclude smacking 'em ever once in a while out of anger or frustration. Just spanking administered in a self-controlled manner as a disciplinary method. If you have multiple children and a different answer for each, just put the one you are proudest of.<br /><br />It don't matter to me if this thread deteriorates...no, make that blossoms...into a brilliant debate on the merits of spanking, I only ask you to please answer the question first.<br /><br />thanks very much,<br />jtw
 

NathanY

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

My daughter is 5 and I spank her when she needs it.
 

wilkin250r

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Feb 9, 2003
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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

The results of my own experiment have been a dramatic success. My daughter is 6, I USED to spank her, but haven't needed to for nearly a year. She is very well behaved.
 

rolmops

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

I never spanked my kids,as for my girlfriend..
 

Ralph 123

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

I am around 40 and my mother tells me she'll still give me a good beating if I need one! "You're never too old", she tell me. :)
 

SoulWinner

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

Hi Ralph! Welcome back! <br /><br />I tanned my boys bottom when he needed it. Sometimes that worked out to be good cardiovascular exercise on the basis of it's frequency. The last time I smacked him he was 16, and he got off light, but I got his attention. He has been a model citizen ever since. But I promise, if he needs it, he will receive a whoopin'.
 

carrotsnapper

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

It's been too long for me to remember, but I don't think it was much past age 6 for mine. When I was 16, while my parents were out of town for a few days, I took mom's car and drove 250 miles to another state to see a girl. I left my 12 year old bro home alone for 2 days. He loved it, but my parents beat me home and dad broke a yard stike over me six times. Never saw him so mad before or since. :mad:
 
D

DJ

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

Once or twice, gently, before five years. Once or twice, is enough for them to get the message.
 

Booner

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

Jtexas used to spank my girls when they were under 6 or 7 maybe 8. Then I did the time out thing with some results. But I feel taking a privilege away is much more effective as they get older. Daughter no# 2 wants to go out with her friends Friday but she is now grounded for not keeping dad informed about something. No privilege for her. It’s all about the child taking responsibility for their actions. Don’t you watch DR Phil? :D
 

Homerr

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

Yep... I received my share of beatings for sure!<br /><br />If you ask me.. a lot of today's punks could use a trip to the woodshed.<br /><br /><br />I thank the Lord my kids tuned out so well mannered... And funny thing is... I hardly had to spank any of them! An authoritative voice and the famous *stare* usually kept them in-line. :) <br /><br />Taking away privileges is the key to my teens.<br />Taking their stereo or Internet privileges away for a time is murder to them. :eek: <br /><br />H.
 

brother chris

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

Never had to spank my child. He has the fear of me in him. He knows when I say something, he better do it. And he always does, even if he does not like it(like dishes or vaccuming). <br />Some people say I am hard on him, but I do not think so. He gets almost anything he wants, but he is FAR from being spoiled. He knows that he can have anything he asks for, BUT, he better work for it. <br />And as Homerr says, the ole' "stare" and "stern voice" is good enough that he listens.
 

Frankhanhart

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

maybe twice before they were 6 or so. The stare worked wonders and is still remembered....my daughter asking my lady-friend the other day if she had already been given the "blik" (stare) once :D
 

gaugeguy

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

My boys are 8 and 7 and if they need one, they will still get one. I haven't had to "lay down the law" in quite a while though. I guess they have the fear instilled in them, and they know when to stop doing what they shouldn't be doing, they are good little guys.<br /><br />My dad gave me my last spanking (with the belt) when I was 14. I was big enough to tell him "I had enough", and that is when he stopped.
 

NYMINUTE

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

Never did, wish I had, at least my middle son, and step son. They pushed the envelope way beyond the limits in their teens. Grandkids.... well they can do No bad.
 

mattttt25

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

my daughter is 2 1/2 years old. i have never touched her, nor could i ever even think about it. it is my opinion (yes, just mine) that if you must hit your kids, you've failed as an adult and parent. i won't say anymore.
 

JamesCoste

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

I spank my children when they are defiant. When I say defiant I mean I tell them to do one thing and they look at me and decide to do the other. <br /><br />I have 3 kids - age 10, age 5, and age 4. They quickly learned that it is best to listen to what me and my wife say to do. When my kids were in their terrible twos and three to a lesser degree, they got more frequent spankings. They seldom get them today because they obey.<br /><br />Because my oldest child is 10, I don't know when he will be "too old" for spanking. He did get one a week ago for doing something we told him not to do. We first discussed it and he admitted to being defiant and he almost welcomed the spanking. When I finished (10 appropriate "pops" with my hand on his rear) we briefly discussed why he just got disciplined and I told him that I loved him too much to let him do the wrong thing.<br /><br />He honestly understands that discipline is a good thing for his future.<br /><br />My wife and I use other tools as well: removal of privileges, time-out (rarely now that they are older), etc.<br /><br />The most important thing I've found is to be consistent and reaffirm your love for them once you are done. If done right, they won't resent you for disciplining them.
 

kenimpzoom

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

My kids will get them as long as they live in my house, if I think it will help. I remember I got a good one when 12 and my bro was 16. My dad had a bad day and he let us have it. We laughed afterwards, and surprise, no emotional scars.<br /><br />I suggest you try taking care of my 2 yr old for a day or two. She is hell on wheels. She doesnt get whippins, just a pop on the rear. We have begun the sit in the "bad girl corner" idea too.<br /><br />Some kids need them, some dont.<br /><br />My 9 yr old has had two good whoopins in his life. Both times for lying, after he recieved a warning. They worked very good, he didnt lie anymore for a long time.<br /><br /><br />Ken
 

John Carpenter

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

My boys are now 18 and 20 & neither has had a spanking since they were very young...under six I'm sure. The thing about spanking is that once they understand that you WILL do it, you very seldom have to. I think that you need to establish that there will be consequences for poor behavior. A pop on the rear works when they are very young. Other methods are better when they are older.<br /><br />I have two very well behaved sons, both Eagle Scouts, good students and on the right path in life. For that, we are very thankful.
 

roscoe

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

I think she was 45 or 46.<br /><br />Oh, did you mean children or girlfriends?
 

PW2

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Re: How old were they when you stopped spanking them?

Good for you, Mattt. If you feel the need to spank your kids, you are doing something wrong in your parenting.<br />You can have well behaved children without spanking. You just need to be smarter than they are at the time.
 
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