POINTER94
Vice Admiral
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Messages
- 5,031
My dad retired about 10 years ago and he has taken up a variety of part time causes and charity work. I am thrilled and the community is a better place for his involvment. He is a very educated man and was a quiet, influence on my life by his actions not his words. He raised me more by example than by words. He wasn't a real chatty or open man. That is how I was raised.<br /><br />Since he has retired he has changed drastically. He has become someone who I really enjoy talking to and has good info for me except. He is either talking, whistling, or making noise constantly. I say something to my mom about shoes and he starts singing a song about shoes and thinks its somehow cute or funny. IT'S BABBLE. 
<br /><br />He now talks to me about trivial things and is repititive to the point of making me avoid him. Every time I see him he is like talking to my travel agent. And not just an overview, but down to the type of toilets and showers etc. I am in the process of getting married and probably will encounter a job change in the next 6-12 months, knowing specific campgrounds, and specific campsites are a little more info than I want. He took a trip to the "North Channel" about five years ago and goes for a week a year ever since. I have to endure a conversation about the place every and I mean every time I see him. (That means as many as 7-10 times a day.)<br /><br />As my job change may involve relocation to the Carolina's, I thought it would be good if I went to the North Channel with him in my boat. Share the experience before it becomes logistically impossible. Open the floodgates. I just got back from a visit with my new fiance where we told my parents of our intentions to marry. He spent 3-4 times as much time talking about the north channel then our wedding. And my parents really like her! I left with littery hundreds of pieces of literature about the north channel. 7-10 lbs of it. I am only going for a week. It is also my trip, not his.<br /><br />He also has a unique ability to belittle my accomplishments and talents. He teaches the advanced navigation course for the USCGA, so therefor my 30+ years of experience have no value. Unless something goes wrong, then I get a call and the responsiblity for the problems solution becomes mine. <br /><br />Ex. One day he was launching his 23 foot cabin cruiser and it slipped off the trailer onto the pavement. While everyone was pointing fingers, and trying to find a boom truck or crane, my brother backed up the trailer to the front of the boat, Pulled out the cable from the powerwinch, hooked it up, put the car in neutral and powered up the winch. Yep, the boat walked right up onto the trailer, end of problem. Little or no credit for this smart move was given.) <br /><br />I am good at what I do, work wise and boating wise. Unfortunately, those solutions are quickly forgotten, or I get the old "I'd of thought of that too".<br /><br />Another neat little quirk is that he listens to the oldies country station on the digital tv. He leaves it on all day. And loud. My mom is going nuts... It was the only station on the entire day and a half we were there. No news, sports, even weather. Patsy and Willy and the gang, all the time.<br /><br />On top of that, my fiance and I are going through the annulment process (catholic) partly to please them and make it square with the church for me. My fiance's father is a Luthern Minister and according to her religion (Luthern) she doesn't have to go through this. It is not easy and it stirrs up alot of emotional issues for her, but she is willing to go through it for me. We will have a private catholic ceremony with a catholic priest and a more public one afterwards done by her father. Dad said he won't attend her fathers service. Seems to have some catholic doctrine against attending. We are falling over ourselves to make this religiously perfect and I get the proclomation from on high he won't attend. <br /><br />I have always respected my parents but I am at my wits end. My marriage has become more about pleasing them then ourselves. I love this girl and I have asked 10X more of her than she has asked of me. I have to take a stand but I don't want to hurt my parents and I want to maintain a family relationship. But I am coming to the point where the price of keeping them happy will destoy my happiness.<br /><br />I want to show the proper respect and I don't want to disrespect my parents but things have to change. What am I to do????
<br /><br />He now talks to me about trivial things and is repititive to the point of making me avoid him. Every time I see him he is like talking to my travel agent. And not just an overview, but down to the type of toilets and showers etc. I am in the process of getting married and probably will encounter a job change in the next 6-12 months, knowing specific campgrounds, and specific campsites are a little more info than I want. He took a trip to the "North Channel" about five years ago and goes for a week a year ever since. I have to endure a conversation about the place every and I mean every time I see him. (That means as many as 7-10 times a day.)<br /><br />As my job change may involve relocation to the Carolina's, I thought it would be good if I went to the North Channel with him in my boat. Share the experience before it becomes logistically impossible. Open the floodgates. I just got back from a visit with my new fiance where we told my parents of our intentions to marry. He spent 3-4 times as much time talking about the north channel then our wedding. And my parents really like her! I left with littery hundreds of pieces of literature about the north channel. 7-10 lbs of it. I am only going for a week. It is also my trip, not his.<br /><br />He also has a unique ability to belittle my accomplishments and talents. He teaches the advanced navigation course for the USCGA, so therefor my 30+ years of experience have no value. Unless something goes wrong, then I get a call and the responsiblity for the problems solution becomes mine. <br /><br />Ex. One day he was launching his 23 foot cabin cruiser and it slipped off the trailer onto the pavement. While everyone was pointing fingers, and trying to find a boom truck or crane, my brother backed up the trailer to the front of the boat, Pulled out the cable from the powerwinch, hooked it up, put the car in neutral and powered up the winch. Yep, the boat walked right up onto the trailer, end of problem. Little or no credit for this smart move was given.) <br /><br />I am good at what I do, work wise and boating wise. Unfortunately, those solutions are quickly forgotten, or I get the old "I'd of thought of that too".<br /><br />Another neat little quirk is that he listens to the oldies country station on the digital tv. He leaves it on all day. And loud. My mom is going nuts... It was the only station on the entire day and a half we were there. No news, sports, even weather. Patsy and Willy and the gang, all the time.<br /><br />On top of that, my fiance and I are going through the annulment process (catholic) partly to please them and make it square with the church for me. My fiance's father is a Luthern Minister and according to her religion (Luthern) she doesn't have to go through this. It is not easy and it stirrs up alot of emotional issues for her, but she is willing to go through it for me. We will have a private catholic ceremony with a catholic priest and a more public one afterwards done by her father. Dad said he won't attend her fathers service. Seems to have some catholic doctrine against attending. We are falling over ourselves to make this religiously perfect and I get the proclomation from on high he won't attend. <br /><br />I have always respected my parents but I am at my wits end. My marriage has become more about pleasing them then ourselves. I love this girl and I have asked 10X more of her than she has asked of me. I have to take a stand but I don't want to hurt my parents and I want to maintain a family relationship. But I am coming to the point where the price of keeping them happy will destoy my happiness.<br /><br />I want to show the proper respect and I don't want to disrespect my parents but things have to change. What am I to do???? 
