Re: JOKES!
Stranded Engineer <br /><br />An engineer was enjoying his very first vacation ever, relaxing on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. It was wonderful: the experience of his life. He was waited on hand and foot. But a hurricane came up suddenly, and the ship went down almost instantly. <br /><br />The engineer found himself somehow swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else in sight besides the island and the sea. No people, no supplies, nothing. He looked all around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. Although he was desperate and forlorn, he decided to make the best of it. <br /><br />For the next four months, he ate bananas and drank coconut juice, but mostly he looked to the sea, longing for a ship to come to his rescue. <br /><br />One day, as he was lying on the beach, stroking his beard and watching for a ship, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true? Was it a ship? Nope. From around the edge of the island there appeared a small rowboat. In the rowboat was the most gorgeous woman the engineer had ever seen (or at least that he had seen in the last four months). She was tall and tan, and her blonde hair flowed in the pleasant sea breeze, giving her an almost ethereal quality. He jumped up, waving frantically and calling to get her attention. She saw him, and turned her boat towards him on the beach. <br /><br />As she approached, he ran out to her, crying out in disbelief: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" <br /><br />The woman answered, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed on this island four months ago, when the cruise ship I was on sank." <br /><br />"It's... it's just amazing," he stammered. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. Are there other people with you? Where did you find a rowboat? Did it wash up on the shore?" <br /><br />"I've been here all alone," she answered. "And the rowboat didn't wash up. Nothing else did. I made this rowboat." <br /><br />He was astonished. "But how?" <br /><br />"Well, I just used raw materials that I found on the island," she answered. "I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and I made the sides and stern from a Eucalyptus tree." <br /><br />"But what about tools? Where did you get tools?" he asked. <br /><br />"Oh, that was no problem." She explained, "On the south side of the island, there's a stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I built a kiln and fired it, and the ore melted into forgeable, ductile iron. I used that to make some tools." <br /><br />"But enough of all this business," she said. "Where do you live?" Although ashamed, the man admitted that he had been sleeping on the beach. "Well, let's row over to my place," she said. So they both got into the rowboat and left for her side of the island. <br /><br />The woman rowed them around to a wharf that led to the landscaped approach to her home. She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope. They walked up a stone walk and around a palm tree, and there stood an exquisite bungalow, painted all in blue and white. <br /><br />"It's not much," she said, "but it's my home. Would you like a drink?" <br /><br />"No thanks," he said, chuckling. "One more coconut juice and I think I'll throw up." <br /><br />"Oh, it's not coconut juice," she replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?" <br /><br />Trying to hide his continued amazement, the engineer accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had visited for a couple of hours, she asked, "Have you always had a beard?" <br /><br />"No, I've been clean shaven all my life," he answered. "I just haven't been able to shave since I was shipwrecked." <br /><br />She hinted: "Well, if you'd *like* to shave, there's a man's razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." <br /><br />The engineer, no longer questioning the woman's amazing abilities, went upstairs and found a working bathroom, which even had running water. In the cabinet, he found a razor with an exquisitely carved bone handle. It was made from two shells, honed down to a fine edge, and fastened onto the handle with a smooth swivel mechanism. He shaved, showered, and went back downstairs. <br /><br />"You look great!" she exclaimed. "I didn't realize how handsome you were. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go slip into something more comfortable." So she did. <br /><br />The man continued sipping his Pina Colada, looking around at her collection of painted shells and handcarved furniture. After a short time, she returned, wearing strategically positioned fig leaves, and smelling faintly of gardenias. <br /><br />"Tell me..." she began, "We've both been out here for a very, very long time... with no...uh...companionship. You know what I mean? Haven't you been lonely? Is there anything you've really missed? Something that all men need.. and women, too? Something that would be really nice to have right now?" <br /><br />"Now that you mention it..." he began. The engineer set down his drink and moved closer, fixing a winsome gaze upon her. "Tell me... do you have an Internet connection?"
loved it.
