- Joined
- May 29, 2003
- Messages
- 19,247
TEACHER: Why are you late? <br />WEBSTER: Because of the sign. <br />TEACHER: What sign? <br />WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." <br /><br /> -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"? <br />JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" <br />TEACHER: No, that's wrong <br />JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it! <br /> <br />-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? <br />SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!! <br />TEACHER: What are you talking about? <br />SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! <br /> <br />-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. <br />GEORGE: Here it is! <br />TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, Who discovered America? <br />CLASS: George! <br /> <br />-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. <br />WILLY: Me! <br /> <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? <br />TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are. <br /> <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? <br />FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? <br />SILVIA: Your name on this report card. <br /> <br />-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". <br />ELLEN: I is... <br />TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." <br />ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." <br /> <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" <br />Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime." <br /><br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" <br />Johnny: "Because George still had the axe in his hand." <br /> <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? <br />Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. <br /> <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? <br />Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog! <br /> <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* <br /><br />Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? <br />Pupil: A teacher.
