ehenry
Commander
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Messages
- 2,393
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?<br />Pose the following question:<br /><br />You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.<br /><br />You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.<br /><br />What do you do?<br /><br />Liberal Answer:<br /><br />Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?<br /><br />Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?<br /><br />Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?<br /><br />Should I call 9-1-1?<br /><br />Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.<br /> <br />This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.<br /><br />Conservative Answer:<br /><br />BANG!<br /><br /> <br />Southerner's Answer :<br /><br />BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!<br />click...(sounds of reloading).<br /><br />Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"<br /><br />Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."<br /><br />BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.<br />Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
