LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
Life is tough, even more so if you are stupid.<br /><br />ONE<br /><br />Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could<br /><br />have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.<br /><br />"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.<br /><br />"You don't?" I replied.<br /><br />"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.<br /><br />"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"<br /><br />"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />TWO<br /><br />The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple<br /><br />of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few<br /><br />items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I<br /><br />picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register<br /><br />and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After<br /><br />the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider"<br /><br />looking<br /><br />it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.<br /><br />Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"<br /><br />I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."<br /><br />She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue<br /><br />to what had just happened.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />THREE<br /><br />MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!<br /><br />A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive<br /><br />and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was<br /><br />doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking<br /><br />for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />FOUR<br /><br />I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do<br /><br />you need some help?" I asked.<br /><br />She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote<br /><br />door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing<br /><br />to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"<br /><br />"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.<br /><br />"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car<br /><br />keys to me.<br /><br />As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why<br /><br />don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long<br /><br />walk."<br /><br />"Thanks," she replied and drove off to the store.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />FIVE<br /><br />Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day<br /><br />she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of<br /><br />typing paper. What do I do?"<br /><br />"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that,<br /><br />the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the<br /><br />photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />SIX<br /><br />I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was<br /><br />towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of<br /><br />repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister."<br /><br />I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had<br /><br />set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />SEVEN<br /><br />IDIOTS &COMPUTERS...<br /><br />My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office<br /><br />of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems<br /><br />with their computers.<br /><br />One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who<br /><br />had this question: I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.<br /><br />Do you guys have a fire downtown?"<br /><br />>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />EIGHT<br /><br />Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a<br /><br />metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy<br /><br />machine.<br /><br />The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed<br /><br />the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the<br /><br />truth.<br /><br />Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."