Life is tough (funny c&p)

LadyFish

Admiral
Joined
Mar 18, 2003
Messages
6,894
Life is tough, even more so if you are stupid.<br /><br />ONE<br /><br />Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could<br /><br />have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.<br /><br />"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.<br /><br />"You don't?" I replied.<br /><br />"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.<br /><br />"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"<br /><br />"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />TWO<br /><br />The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple<br /><br />of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few<br /><br />items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I<br /><br />picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register<br /><br />and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After<br /><br />the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider"<br /><br />looking<br /><br />it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.<br /><br />Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"<br /><br />I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."<br /><br />She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue<br /><br />to what had just happened.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />THREE<br /><br />MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!<br /><br />A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive<br /><br />and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was<br /><br />doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking<br /><br />for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />FOUR<br /><br />I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do<br /><br />you need some help?" I asked.<br /><br />She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote<br /><br />door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing<br /><br />to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"<br /><br />"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.<br /><br />"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car<br /><br />keys to me.<br /><br />As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why<br /><br />don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long<br /><br />walk."<br /><br />"Thanks," she replied and drove off to the store.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />FIVE<br /><br />Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day<br /><br />she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of<br /><br />typing paper. What do I do?"<br /><br />"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that,<br /><br />the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the<br /><br />photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />SIX<br /><br />I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was<br /><br />towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of<br /><br />repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister."<br /><br />I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had<br /><br />set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />SEVEN<br /><br />IDIOTS &COMPUTERS...<br /><br />My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office<br /><br />of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems<br /><br />with their computers.<br /><br />One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who<br /><br />had this question: I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.<br /><br />Do you guys have a fire downtown?"<br /><br />>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />EIGHT<br /><br />Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a<br /><br />metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy<br /><br />machine.<br /><br />The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed<br /><br />the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the<br /><br />truth.<br /><br />Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
 

JoeW

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Nov 8, 2003
Messages
664
Re: Life is tough (funny c&p)

I went into McDonald's the other day and ordered a McChicken sandwich with minimal lettuce. The youngster behind the counter told me "I'm sorry, we only have Iceburg Lettuce".<br /> :rolleyes:
 

lund17

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Oct 22, 2003
Messages
216
Re: Life is tough (funny c&p)

My store has an ATM that you swipe your card through a reader rather than insert it. Large sign says Swipe Card to Begin. Once a week at least, someone inserts their card into the slot where the reciept prints out. Down it goes into the gut of the machine until the bank guy comes to refill it. THEN, they get mad at Me :rolleyes: because they lost their card. One girl who's a regular,(blonde, ;) ) has done it TWICE! :D
 

pjc

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jun 29, 2003
Messages
1,856
Re: Life is tough (funny c&p)

A very sad aspect of these examples is that most can reproduce. So on goes the gene pool, the nut indeed does not fall far from the tree. ;)
 

AW

Seaman Apprentice
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
35
Re: Life is tough (funny c&p)

But is it stupidity, or lack of a specific piece of knowledge? It's not the same thing.
 

Link

Rear Admiral
Joined
Apr 13, 2003
Messages
4,221
Re: Life is tough (funny c&p)

There is a Motel next to the Café I go to everyday. The main power goes to the office Weather Head then over to the Motel (a separate building) When me and a partner were got out of our trucks there was a guy hanging Christmas lights on the power line between the buildings.<br />We looked at each other shaking our heads and I said: There is another example of the gene pool taking care of it's self. We got the dirtiest look from the owner of the café who had just got out of his car. <br />YUP Turned out it was is brother :) :)
 

BRIAN03

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Oct 17, 2003
Messages
284
Re: Life is tough (funny c&p)

I always wonder about evolution. Do people get smarter with generations? Some don't. Is it nature or nurture? How do these people balance a check book? Maybe there better off they don't seem to have any stress. Maybe the one's with all the gray matter have all the problems.
 
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