"Married Life"

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

A guy walks into a bar and orders a double<br />shot of bourbon. He downs it then reaches<br />into his pocket and pulls out a picture. He<br />stares at the picture for a moment then puts<br />it away and orders another double. After<br />downing that drink, he proceeds to pull out<br />the picture and examine it before putting it<br />away and ordering another double.<br /><br />This goes on for about four rounds of drinks<br />before the bartender asks him what's going<br />on. "Well," the guy says, "this is a picture of<br />my wife. When she starts to look good, I'm<br />going home."<br />------------------------------------------------<br />"If I Die First"<br /><br />Now that they are retired, my mother and<br />father are discussing all aspects of their<br />future. "What will you do if I die before you<br />do?" Dad asked Mom.<br /><br />After some thought, she said that she'd<br />probably look for a house-sharing situation<br />with three other single or widowed women<br />who might be a little younger than herself,<br />since she is so active for her age.<br /><br />Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if<br />I die first?"<br /><br />He replied, "Probably the same thing."<br />------------------------------------------------<br />"Mom, What's Sex?"<br /><br />A little boy returning home from his first day at<br />school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?"<br /><br />His mother, who believed in all the most modern<br />educational theories, gave him a detailed<br />explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky<br />subject.<br /><br />When she had finished, the little lad produced<br />an enrollment form which he had brought home<br />from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going<br />to get all that into this one little square?"