SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Signs You're Stressed"<br /><br />You wonder if brewing is really a necessary<br />step for the consumption of coffee.<br /><br />You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses<br />off the people you're talking to.<br /><br />The SUN is too loud.<br /><br />You can achieve a "runner's high" by sitting up.<br /><br />You ask the drive-through attendant if you can<br />get your order to go.<br /><br />You can see the individual air molecules vibrating.<br /><br />You keep yelling, "STOP TOUCHING ME!" even<br />though you are the only one in the room.<br /><br />Relatives that have been dead for years come<br />visit you and suggest that you should get some<br />rest.<br /><br />Your heart beats in 7/8 time.<br /><br />You and reality ...file for divorce.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"First Day at Work"<br /><br />A young man hired by a supermarket reported<br />for his first day of work. The manager greeted<br />him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave<br />him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to<br />sweep out the store."<br /><br />"But I'm a college graduate," the young man<br />replied indignantly.<br /><br />"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager.<br />"Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how."<br />__________________________________________________<br />The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar<br />voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.<br /><br />"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.<br /><br />"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.<br /><br />As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked,<br />"Is it serious?"<br /><br />"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely.<br />"In fact, there are three doctors there already!"<br />__________________________________________________<br />A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told<br />her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago."<br /><br />"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.<br /><br />"Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't<br />even believe there's a Hell."<br /><br />Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of<br />us, we'll show him how wrong he is."<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Donald Duck just turned 66 years-old. Kind of a tough age.<br />Now when you see him walking around without any pants on,<br />you don't know if he's acting or if he just forgot." 
