SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Pay Attention!"<br /><br />A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices<br />that one of the items for sale is a large parrot.<br /><br />He's always wanted a talking bird, so when it<br />comes up for bid he offers $50. The bidding<br />proceeds hot and heavy with someone always<br />bidding ten dollars more than he until the parrot<br />is finally sold to him for $1,500. <br /><br />When he goes<br />to get the bird, he asks the auctioneer,<br />"Can the bird talk?"<br /><br />The auctioneer replied, "Who do you think was<br />bidding against you?" 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Amazing Flying Turtle"<br /><br />Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb<br />a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top,<br />jumped into the air waving his front legs and<br />crashed to the ground.<br /><br />After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again,<br />jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried<br />again and again while a couple of birds sitting on<br />a branch watched his sad efforts.<br /><br />Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear,"<br />she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted." <br />__________________________________________________<br />"Storks"<br /><br />Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and<br />a baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and<br />the father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son.<br />Your mother will come back. She's only bringing babies<br />to and making them happy."<br /><br />The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother<br />and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying,<br />and the mother is saying "Son, your father will be back<br />as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new<br />mommies and daddies."<br /><br />A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate:<br />their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before<br />dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's<br />been all night.<br /><br />The baby stork says,<br /><br />"Nowhere in particular. I was just scaring the hell out<br />of college students!"
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Amazing Flying Turtle"<br /><br />Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb<br />a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top,<br />jumped into the air waving his front legs and<br />crashed to the ground.<br /><br />After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again,<br />jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried<br />again and again while a couple of birds sitting on<br />a branch watched his sad efforts.<br /><br />Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear,"<br />she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted." <br />__________________________________________________<br />"Storks"<br /><br />Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and<br />a baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and<br />the father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son.<br />Your mother will come back. She's only bringing babies<br />to and making them happy."<br /><br />The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother<br />and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying,<br />and the mother is saying "Son, your father will be back<br />as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new<br />mommies and daddies."<br /><br />A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate:<br />their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before<br />dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's<br />been all night.<br /><br />The baby stork says,<br /><br />"Nowhere in particular. I was just scaring the hell out<br />of college students!"