Only a true Southerner....<br /><br />1. Only a true Southerner knows what "catywompus" means.<br /><br />2. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a "hissie fit" and a<br />"conniption fit" and they don't "HAVE" them, they "PITCH" them.<br /><br />3. Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general<br />direction <br />of "YONDER".<br /><br />4. Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: <br />"Going to town, be back directly."<br /><br />5. Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request <br />for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl <br />on the middle of the table.<br /><br />6. All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not <br />use the term, but they know the concept well.<br /><br />7. Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture <br />of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried <br />chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's <br />trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!).<br /><br />8. Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between <br />"right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "Just <br />down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.<br /><br />9. Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference <br />between a redneck, a good ol' boy and po' white trash.<br /><br />10. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing <br />turn signal is actually going to make a turn.<br /><br />11. A true Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or <br />an adverb.<br /><br />12. Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident <br />of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger", or something that <br />jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.<br /><br />13. Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. And when we <br />are "in line" we talk to everybody!<br /><br />14. Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover <br />they're related, even if only by marriage.<br /><br />15. True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.<br /><br />16. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs,bacon, grits, and <br />coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast <br />food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.<br /><br />17. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin .," you know <br />you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!<br /><br />18. Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk". Sweet tea <br />indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our <br />tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.<br /><br />19. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little <br />old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" <br />and go your own way.