Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

[jjacobs007]

I am 40 yrs old and been around boats ever since i was 14,normal so far right,except i have lived in the las vegas the whole time.It seems my life is about to change with a baby girl for the first time. I visited the lake every weekend for all these yrs and now im confused about my boat story,i never owned a new boat always a older one that had to be fixed up just to drive. Right now i just finished my almost 2yr boat rebuild on my starcraft boat and i dont care about going to the lake anymore,but i still find myself there working on it on the weekends,its in storage and i pay 80 a month to keep it there.This story could take up half the iboats forums if i told my life story but i dont know where to start.I am so lost i want to sell it because i know the baby comes first but i also want to finish it.I am ok on money and i love my family so much.How do i deal with this?I once was a seriously into drugs and i quit just for the chance to become a home owner and have a truck and boat and family.here i am all things achieved but now whats next? I should have dreamed bigger right.My job sucks i work in a buffet as a server i get drinks and clean tables while the casino takes all there money.My life sucks and i want to be a great farther and a great man.Can anyone out there feel this?let me know about your thoughts.

 

[veritas honus]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Think about this... You know how babies and children fall asleep so easily in a car when on the road? Well, I've found it to be even more so on the water in a boat. My Father-in-Law had told me years ago that his greatest memories of my wife's childhood were on the water, boating.

The Chaparral in my avatar and signature used to belong to him. A couple years ago, he told me he was thinking about selling her. He didn't use the boat that much, because of all the stumps on Lake Seminole. He uses his 17' aluminum Grumman stick steer for fishing, and just motoring around on the water. I asked him, unless you really need the money now, please wait until I can afford to buy her from you. He told me he didn't really need the money, he just hated to see the boat just sitting there. He told me he would keep the boat; come and use it any time you want. It wasn't long after that, maybe a month or so, he rolls up my driveway towing the boat. I meet him in the yard (I heard his diesel truck roll up). I asked him what are you doing with the boat? He handed me title, keys, and registration for the boat and trailer. He told me, again, how most of his fondest memories of my wife and Brother-in-Laws childhood took place on the water. He went on to tell me, "I want you to have that, too. The boat is yours." I'll never forget that day, and the look of happiness and pride on his face as he gave me his beautiful boat.

My point is, J, unless you really need the money now, keep the boat. Don't give her up because you're faced with something new and getting rid of something seems to be a solution. You've got a lot on your mind right now. You love that boat and everything associated with her. Share that with your unborn child and her mother. You don't have to wait years to take her on the boat. Infant PFD's are not expensive. Share your love of the water with your family.

 

[Philster]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

I sold my boat when I had kids.

Biggest... mistake... ever.

Kids grow up fast. Wanna melt inside? Watch your 3-4-year old child pull in fish or steer the boat (especially the one you've had). When they get older = excuse for bigger/newer boat! Everybody wins!

Keep it. Even if ya have to store it.

 

[blifsey]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Neither wife nor I had been around boats until our kids were around 7 & 9. They are now 18 & 20. We have found boating to be one of the best things we've ever done to build family memories and bonding.

 

[LippCJ7]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

I have to agree with VH, Phil and blif, having a child is not a reason to sell your boat unless you are financially strapped. Now that my kids are either in High school or college yes I use my boat less but I will not sell my boat, our boating focus may have changed slightly but I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to take a nap on the water, I love working on it even though its never anything major just routine maintenance by the anal owner. If you are ok on money keep the boat, finish it quickly as your time will disappear with the little one but introduce her to the water the moment she gets home! Soon you will find your boat is nothing more then more family time, and that can't be a bad thing can it?

Sure you made bad decisions in your life but we all have, your no different then anyone else you just made different bad decisions then others. I had children early in adulthood so now that I'm in my early 40's my kids are nearly out of the nest while lots of my friends kids are in middle school or younger. They have big houses and big bills, we go through life differently but that doesn't make you any different then anyone else. Prepare yourself for the greatest moment of your life, the first time you hold your child and she sets her eyes on her daddy, you won't realize its the greatest moment of your life right then, more likely that will be the moment that you realize the gravity of the situation, that the little one in your arms depends on you, for everything, her very existence depends on you. I believe at that moment you will become a better father, you will strive to provide her and her mother a better life and believe it or not your boat will be a part of that.

Congrats on the new arrival, I'm sorry you have a daughter on the way though this is a mistake you will have to live with the rest of your life so please remember next time to have a boy, prepare yourself your about to become a slave for at least the next 20 years, trust me I have 3 daughters, I'm not sure when or where I lost my testicles but I miss them......

 

[scoutabout]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Sounds like this goes way beyond boating. First of all - kudos to you for turning your life around with respect to the drugs. That's huge and you should feel pride every day for achieving that. So, who says the dreaming and changes stop there? It sounds like you've come to a point where you've hit a plateau and are realizing you want to keep climbing. Maybe you can leverage the job you have and hate into something else. I know with a kid, night school or other courses is going to be difficult but you made the first huge life-altering changes and you did it successfully. If you don't want to be working that job in 2, 5, 10 years - whatever, you sound like the kind of person who could pull off another change. Myself, I'm only five years older than you and on my fourth major career change in 20 years. I am still finding my way and marvel at how things have a way of evolving. Life is long my friend and you got more than plenty left and it sounds like already got one of the main ingredients to fullful the great father and great man role - the self awareness to understand the importance of those things.

As for the boat itself - if you can afford to keep it and finish it, I can also attest that seeing one's kid take to the water and enjoy it is a really great feeling. I'm not going to kid you that your free time is still all your own. My son is 9 and my wife and I are just starting to get a taste of what it was like to have the kind of free time we used to before he was born. As I type this he's off on his very first weekend-long sleepover at a friends cabin up north. My wife and I spent the first couple of hours yesterday in an emtpy quiet house just kind of staring at each other and laughing like idiots that we actually had two full days to ourselves where we came first.

If you can't afford to keep it, you also sound like you know your priorities and the boat has gotta go. However - it doesn't mean boating is out of your life forever. Again, I point back to your success in the past with major life hurdles. You will have another one down the road. It all depends on what you want. Sounds like maybe boating has lost some of it's allure for you? That's ok. There's folks that like fixing them up, folks who like floating them, and folks who like both. Maybe your path is fixing them up, selling them and getting on to the next project.

If you do want to keep it, sit down with your wife, draw up a budget so you know what your monthly expenses are going to be, be honest with how much money goes to the boat and do some talking and prioritizing. Maybe you dial the spending back to bare minimum storage only til you don't need the diaper money any more, or maybe you'll find you can keep going. Anyway, that discussion with your other half is key so it's all in the open and understood what the boat is costing and where if will fit in your overall life heading forward.

Good luck and let us know what you decide.

 

[BginerBoater]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Hi Hello Jacob!

Hey Bro! I too am here in Las Vegas, and also work in the hotel industry (In room Tech @ Cosmopolitain) Although i do not have the experience with the nautical vessels, I do know a bit about projects. Additional to my boat, I have a 1990 Mitsubishi Mighty max that I have Bagged, body dropped, and converted to right hand side drive. In the event me and my ol lady were to be put in the situation that you are, i would want to keep my projects. I look at them as potential bond builders. hopefully my kids (future talk) will enjoy turning a wrench just as much as i do.

In the Event you need some help or anything, drop me a line bud, Id be more than willing to assist.

-Woody

 

[mpdive]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

"Were here for a good time, not a long time". That's what grandpa use to say. First off, congrats on turning your life around. That in itself is enough to claim being a good man. Secondly, consider your hobby, that makes you happy, to be your just reward for your commitment to the above. When you close a door that should have never been opened, the Good Lord has a way of opening others. The birth of a new baby is one of them. You need to maintain balance, especially in the role of a family man. Hobbies are made for just that. I won't be specific and tell you to keep the boat, but instead, on a much larger scale, I would say, maintain and do whatever makes you happy and work's as a vent for you. Again life is a balancing act. I think in the future you will find out that the fun and bonding time that being on the water will provide, will out do a trip to the zoo anyday. You are already a great person and have nothing more to prove. God don't make mistakes.....

 

[americaneagler77]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

hey bud, im 25, and my 1st son is due in 6 weeks. you can bet you hind end selling the boat isnt a thought in our mind! some of the best memories of my childhood were on the boat, and id like to do the same, if anything ill be looking to get into something much larger so the wife and i, our son and our 2 siberian huskies have plenty of room to enjoy the water.

i guess what im trying to say is, finish it and enjoy it when you can, its paid off and its not a burden, why get rid of it? bring it to your house to get it out of storage or is that not possible? goodluck

 

[veritas honus]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Come to a boating site and ask other boaters if you should keep your boat??? Want to guess what the answers will be? Do yourserlf a favor, ask your wife what she thinks, she knows the situation much better than anyone here and she is the one you have to please.

Hey J, Bubba's right on both counts. ...But let's face it, you know you need to keep the boat. It's a big part of who and what you are. Boating is HUGE stress relief. In this day and age, we all need all of that we can possibly get... Yeah, the stress relief, too!!!

J, My two children (8 & 3 years old) absolutely LOVE the boat, the water, and everything involved with both. My three year old asks me every day, and I mean every single day, without fail, usually more than once... "Daddy, Kai go boat?" "Daddy, Kai dwive boat?" I learned very quickly, not to tell him, "We're not going on the boat today."; Or, "I'm sorry, Buddy, but we can't go on the boat today." He would LOSE it!!! After a couple times, I tried, "Of course you can drive the boat!!! Next time we take the boat out, you can drive, Buddy!!!" "OK, Daddy!!!" With a HUGE smile on his face. My 8 year old... He absolutely LOVES the boat, and everything involved. When I do anything with the boat, he wants to help and learn. He loves boating. He loves grilling burgers, sausages, steaks, fish, shellfish, and whatever else when we're boating. He loves fishing. He loves tubing. His favorite thing to do is anchor and swim around the boat. Both of my children are happy to just climb in to the boat on the trailer and just be on the boat.

You've got some really well rounded perspectives being offered to you from a bunch of different people here. Think long and hard about what your priorities and capabilities are, J. Judging by what you've said, you've got your priorities straight, and you seem to be on a good path... The path to "The Good Road" Stay with it, J. Keep up the good work.

 

[Silverbullet555]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

I'm not reading your story because it all runs together. Enter, paragraphs and capitalization are your friends.

But, when it comes to kids, families and boats, KEEP IT!!!

When my wife got pregnant with our son I asked her if boating was to be a part of our lives. She said yes and I upgraded to a bigger boat. There have been some years we did not use the boat as much as I would like, but it is really the one thing we do as a family where I am disconnected from work (no cell service), and all of our cares float away.

We started our son on the boat in the womb while my wife was pregnant. His first boat ride was at 9 months. The first year was great. He would be awake for about 30 minutes then fall asleep for the next 3 hours. The rocking boat is way better than the car. That last 2 seasons. Now he is 4 and stays awake on the boat, jumping onto a tube from the platform, doing whatever.

That family time is irreplaceable and something I wouldn't trade for the world. You're not going to get any money out of selling your boat. All the time, money and energy you put into it will be lost. This is the case with just about all rebuilds. Same goes for cars.

In closing, keep the boat. Maybe find a place to store it that is cheaper. Not only will you have it, but when you need to get away for a few minutes you can go work on it. I know I do.

 

[Lakes84]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Listen to the song by Trace Adkins HERE. It still tears me up to listen to that song. I can't say it any better than the great folks above me on this thread. Please don't sell your boat...keep it for your little girl. You won't regret it.

See you on the lake

Joe

 

[Yacht Dr.]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

It seems my life is about to change with a baby girl for the first time.

Can anyone out there feel this? let me know about your thoughts.

Your life Will change .. in the most unexpected ways JJ..

You will experience one of two things .. love that you have Never felt .. or you wont.

If you feel that Love..then you will never return .. EVER ..

You can only do what Your heart desires and share that with your Babe .. Is a matter of fact you can NOT escape it ( she will Know ).

Your DAD .. You will Never be able to change that now. .. You do what You Do .. and go from there.

You might find a different aspect knowing you have another being inside your life.

Choices have to be made .. and Im not one to make any choices for ya .. ..

I have a feeling your a good one ..

YD.

 

[jjacobs007]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Thank you all for the great help and somewhat advice.I like to read your stories and situations that were involved in your life too. I can afford the storage,I think your missing the real point here,.




Like i said, ive been fishing and boating and camping at lake mead ever since i was 14. I left the lake for 5yrs when i got hooked on drugs,Then one day as i sat all messed up, i remembered those sunsets,the smell of the water, and the birds making weird noises of each own. So then i got a full time job and fought my way out,there i was at the lake far from all the bad guys and people who didnt like me anymore,but i was free, and i remember just sitting there looking at all the other boaters out there, mostly families, having fun, not knowing what it took to bring me back there,I made a few fishin buddies along the way, but mostly i was alone on the water and developed a close relationship with the lake and everything that was there.Im sure many will say whatever they want about this post, but its the truth and we all learn from that.So yes, im lost and people trying to stress out over where i put comas and make paragraphs,least of my worries. Sorry i jump around in my words but thats how life is, were not perfect by anymeans and i like that people actually care about my feelings.And yes im very excited about my little girl.Do you really think she will grow up never being in a boat lol lol, I will float with her on a piece of cardboard if i have too,to show her those things.Thanks to all, remember,im the boater behind the guys flicking there cigerette butts out the port side and beer cans over the stren--(oops fishing line) stern,picking them up without even slowing down.

 

[Summer Fun]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

JJ, Congrats . Females are money sucking leaches until you die.

Trust me on that one because I have 2 of them. :facepalm:


Just kidding with ya. . You'll know in your heart what to do.

 

[Silverbullet555]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Thank you all for the great help and somewhat advice.I like to read your stories and situations that were involved in your life too. I can afford the storage,I think your missing the real point here,.




Like i said, ive been fishing and boating and camping at lake mead ever since i was 14. I left the lake for 5yrs when i got hooked on drugs,Then one day as i sat all messed up, i remembered those sunsets,the smell of the water, and the birds making weird noises of each own. So then i got a full time job and fought my way out,there i was at the lake far from all the bad guys and people who didnt like me anymore,but i was free, and i remember just sitting there looking at all the other boaters out there, mostly families, having fun, not knowing what it took to bring me back there,I made a few fishin buddies along the way, but mostly i was alone on the water and developed a close relationship with the lake and everything that was there.Im sure many will say whatever they want about this post, but its the truth and we all learn from that.So yes, im lost and people trying to stress out over where i put comas and make paragraphs,least of my worries. Sorry i jump around in my words but thats how life is, were not perfect by anymeans and i like that people actually care about my feelings.And yes im very excited about my little girl.Do you really think she will grow up never being in a boat lol lol, I will float with her on a piece of cardboard if i have too,to show her those things.Thanks to all, remember,im the boater behind the guys flicking there cigerette butts out the port side and beer cans over the stren--(oops fishing line) stern,picking them up without even slowing down.

It sounds like you have found at the lake what I believe most of us have found. There is a peace and comfort about being on the water. The sights, the sounds, the smells and the memories. Nothing can replace those. You've found it. You understand it. Being there with your family makes it even better. I go with my family most of the time, but something I just go by myself to relax and refresh. It's awesome!

 

[JimS123]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Right now i just finished my almost 2yr boat rebuild on my starcraft boat and i dont care about going to the lake anymore,but i still find myself there working on it on the weekends,its in storage and i pay 80 a month to keep it there..

Boating FAMILIES tend to stay together longer. The kids seem to grow up to be better adults. The kids in the cities that join gangs and end up on drugs USUALLY don't belong to "families" that go boating!

I would advise anybody to hang on to their boat once they start their family. Boating always gets better once the kids come on the scene.

OTOH, your statement above seems to set the tone for the whole thing.

I hate my job cause it sucks too......my boat is the only thing that helps me keep my sanity!

 

[kemer1]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

From one Las Vegan to another....Your life doesn't suck because you work as a buffet server. Don't think of it that way. First off, none of us care that you bring drinks, and clear tables after the tourons. It's a honest day's work, and it's more honorable then being behind the Strat slinging dope. I guarantee you that your little girl won't be any less proud of you or love you any less because of your profession. Think of it this way...you are employed in a city that has 12-14% unemployment at the moment. You work in a place that provides you with paid vacations, paid overtime, paid holidays, provides you with health insurance (big one right there), and advancement opportunities. You can transfer from the buffet into any other department out there. Go to the front desk, bell desk, valet, warehouse, etc. You have your foot in the door and can go anywhere you want from there. It's a stepping stone.

My life plans were to go into the Air Force Academy, get my aeronautical engineering degree, then off to flight school to fly fighter jets. That didn't exactly go according to plan, I drive cabs for a living now. But you know what...I do 60 hours a week, make a descent living and I'm off work and home before my kids are out of school. I get to spend the afternoons with them, help them with homework, tuck them into bed, etc. Being a cab driver isn't as glamorous as being a pilot, but I wouldn't have the home time like I do, and it makes me a better dad then if I had a better job.

As far as the boat is concerned...keep it. You'll need the distraction now more then before. You will need to have something that is just for you to decompress and clear your head. Even if all you can muster is a couple hours a week it will give you an avenue to channel your frustrations, and will give you a sense of yourself.

Congrats on the little girl my friend, I have 2 of them. If you need to talk things out a bit more, just shoot me a PM and I'll be more then happy to lend an ear and maybe give some outside perspective.

 

[southkogs]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Hey JJ -

I think I read more in your post than about a boat. Like Bubba said - talk that one out with your wife. If you're both agreed - keep it. If you don't get to use it right away, you will later.

You love your family. That's HUGE. Your relationship with your wife is the most important human relationship you have. The stronger that relationship is, the better your daughter's life will be. Stay on that track.

You've pulled yourself out of drug addiction. Again - that's a big deal. Aside from the obvious of staying alive and out of jail longer, it shows a personal resolve that indicates you have a bunch of strength, integrity and character. Coincidentally, that's what makes good dads. You will need to have the strength to protect and provide for your family. You will need the integrity to train and to teach your daughter. And you'll need the character to be an example to her. Someday, you'll be able to sit on the lake shore and tell her why that lake is such a big deal to you. If you build the relationship right ... in that moment, the lake will become important to her too.

When I read your post, the only thing that seems to suck about your life is your job. You don't like it. So, change it. I know, it's easier said than done and it may not happen quickly. It may even require that you move your family. But you pulled out of drug addiction while living in Las Vegas dude!!! That says an awful lot about who you are, and what you can accomplish.

I have three kids, and two of them are daughters. My son will help me work on the boat, and get his hands dirty. He likes it sometimes, but he get's bored other times. When we fix something it's like winning a battle together. It's a cool father and son thing. But my girls - they like to sit out there and talk with me. I've had some sweet times with both of them chatting while I'm fighting with some widget or another in the stern. Your little girl will like the boat someday, because her daddy likes it.

No matter how important you are at your job, in your city or wherever ... if you concentrate on being a good husband and father, you will be the most important man in your family's world. Nuthin' sucks about that, my friend.

 

[jjacobs007]

Re: Need advice my boys! Im having a baby and not shure about what to do with boat.

Hey JJ -

I think I read more in your post than about a boat. Like Bubba said - talk that one out with your wife. If you're both agreed - keep it. If you don't get to use it right away, you will later.

You love your family. That's HUGE. Your relationship with your wife is the most important human relationship you have. The stronger that relationship is, the better your daughter's life will be. Stay on that track.

You've pulled yourself out of drug addiction. Again - that's a big deal. Aside from the obvious of staying alive and out of jail longer, it shows a personal resolve that indicates you have a bunch of strength, integrity and character. Coincidentally, that's what makes good dads. You will need to have the strength to protect and provide for your family. You will need the integrity to train and to teach your daughter. And you'll need the character to be an example to her. Someday, you'll be able to sit on the lake shore and tell her why that lake is such a big deal to you. If you build the relationship right ... in that moment, the lake will become important to her too.

When I read your post, the only thing that seems to suck about your life is your job. You don't like it. So, change it. I know, it's easier said than done and it may not happen quickly. It may even require that you move your family. But you pulled out of drug addiction while living in Las Vegas dude!!! That says an awful lot about who you are, and what you can accomplish.

I have three kids, and two of them are daughters. My son will help me work on the boat, and get his hands dirty. He likes it sometimes, but he get's bored other times. When we fix something it's like winning a battle together. It's a cool father and son thing. But my girls - they like to sit out there and talk with me. I've had some sweet times with both of them chatting while I'm fighting with some widget or another in the stern. Your little girl will like the boat someday, because her daddy likes it.

No matter how important you are at your job, in your city or wherever ... if you concentrate on being a good husband and father, you will be the most important man in your family's world. Nuthin' sucks about that, my friend.

Thank you,i will be a great dad and a great person to all i meet.I am starting to figure things out.Thank you for reading into my story, i really appreciate it.