LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
D A M N I T O L.....................<br />Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to haities<br />for up to 8 full hours.<br /><br />ST. M O M M A'S W O R T...............<br />Plant extract that treats mom's depression by<br />rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to <br />two days.<br /><br />E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N................<br />Suppository that eliminates melancholy and <br />loneliness by reminding you of how awful<br />they were as teenagers and how you couldn't <br />wait till they moved out.<br /><br />P E P T O B I M B O.................<br />Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full<br />cups swallowed before an evening out increases<br />breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents<br />conception.<br /><br />D U M B E R O L..............<br />When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously<br />low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music<br />and pickup trucks.<br /><br />F L I P I T O R.............<br />Increases life expectancy of commuters by <br />controlling road rage and the urge to flip off<br />other drivers.<br /><br />M E N I C I L L I N...............<br />Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases<br />resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me<br />want to be a better person ....can we get naked<br />now"?<br /><br />B U Y A G R A...............<br />Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.<br />Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of <br />spending spree.<br /><br />J A C K A S S P I R I N..........<br />Relieves headache caused by a man who can't <br />remember your birthday, anniversary or phone <br />number.<br /><br />A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T...........<br />A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used<br />on anyone too eager to share their life stories<br />with total strangers in elevators.<br /><br />N A G A M E N T.............<br />When administered to a husband, provides the same <br />irritation level as nagging him all weekend,<br />saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it <br />herself.<br /><br /> 
