North v. South

[aspeck]

If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles: <br /><br />If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them; just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. <br /> <br />Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Don't buy food at this store. <br /><br />Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive. <br /><br />The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big ol' truck or 'big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. <br /><br />Be advised that 'He needed killin' is a valid defense here. <br /> <br />If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. <br /><br />Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. <br /><br />The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes .. The South has 'mater samiches. The North has coffee houses ... The South has Waffle Houses. <br /><br />The North has dating services .. The South has family reunions. The North has switchblade knives .. The South has Lee Press-on Nails. <br /><br />The North has double last names .. The South has double first names. <br /> <br />The North has Ted Kennedy .. The South has Edwin Edwards. <br /> <br />The North has an ambulance .. The South has an am-a-lance. <br /> <br />The North has Cream of Wheat .. The South has grits. <br /> <br />The North has green salads .. The South has collard greens. <br /> <br />The North has lobsters .. The South has crawfish. <br /> <br />AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call them biscuits.

 

[ob]

Re: North v. South

Oh and one other thing.In the south they park the car in the garage.In the north they "pak the kaa in the garaaage."

 

[Specks n Reds]

Re: North v. South

 

[DJ]

Re: North v. South

In the south you also: "CARRY" your car in for service.

 

[SlowlySinking]

Re: North v. South

Is it true that DamYankee is one word? <br /><br />Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins.<br /><br />YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:<br /> <br />1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."<br />2. You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!<br />3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.<br />4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.<br />5. You don't know what a Moon Pie is.<br />6. You've never had an RC Cola.<br />7. You have never, ever eaten okra, fried OR boiled.<br />8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.<br />9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.<br />10. You have no idea what a polecat is.<br />11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.<br />12. You don't have bangs.<br />13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.<br />14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.<br />15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.<br />16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.<br />17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.<br />18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.<br />19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football <br />coach.<br />20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. (Not to mention duct tape!)<br />21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an onramp to the highway.<br />22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.<br />23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.<br />24. You call binoculars opera glasses.<br />25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.<br />26. You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt.<br />27. You don't know what appliqué is.<br />28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary <br />Alice).<br />29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.<br />30. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.<br />31. You can do your laundry without quarters.<br />32. None of your fur coats are homemade.

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: North v. South

Yea and if'n you'all are from the north, stay there, we hav'n enough troubles the way it is, with'n maw gett'n blow'n up in the outhouse and Clem gett'n tukin by them aliens, not to ment'n poor Bubba.

 

[Bart Sr.]

Re: North v. South

As a transplanted "Cracker"I can relate to both "Ethnic" Regions.

 

[dakk1]

Re: North v. South

Ya'll killin me! I nearly busted a gut!

 

[OBJ]

Re: North v. South

OH SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just blew my budweiser all over the monitor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1<br /> ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 <br /><br />Just one question.......air yee southern boys still ticked cause we yanks kicked yer butts????

 

[ebbtide176]

Re: North v. South

LOL

 

[dkondelik]

Re: North v. South

Jeez cuz, thems sum treee-men-dus werds of wisdom.<br /><br />

 

[RICKRICK1]

Re: North v. South

obj-- ya'll called it a Civil War (oxymoron)we called it Northern Aggression. And its still being fought. It aint over till its over.

 

[dkondelik]

Re: North v. South

Ghana?<br />Is that closer to Martinsville, Raleigh or Daytona?

 

[aspeck]

Re: North v. South

Ghana is a temp home - here 3 - 6 months at a time, then back to PA and the famiy for a 2-3 months. Trying to get the locals trained to take my place so I can be in PA for 3-6 months and here for 2-3.<br /><br />Nice thing about being here, bought a 2 bedroom <br />fixer-upper" on the ocean, almost 1/2 acre of land, 80 feet of beach front. 85% complete with the remodelling and have $24K in it! Can anyone find me a deal like that in the states?