OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

[ezbtr]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

Originally posted by SoulWinner:<br />Boatingfool, dittos on the "meetings" thing. I have personally been through that. It killed me. Hienz, I am (amoung MANY other things) a private investigator. Go right now to Radio Shack and get a phone tap and tap your phone. Do it now, and brace yourself for the very worst that you may hear. Second, borrow a buddies car that she is not real familiar with and shadow to her to some of these "meetings."<br /><br />Hienz, if I can help, shoot me an email and we can discuss your options. It was my P.I. profession that led me to "find out" what was going on. It is the only way to know for sure. Peace brother, and a big hug.

heinz.forster@copart.com

 

[Fly Rod]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

Qoute by LubeDude

"Your a Republican" "Shes a Democrat"

You have the makings of a "Great Marriage Councilor"

 

[Ross J]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

You don't even have to go to the radio shack if you've got a stereo. Just place a big capacity tape into it and go out. Within a few minutes she'll make that call if thats the truth. I've helped a few mates see the light that way.<br />Remember the addictive personality, ask somebody for an AA book called the "devil within" it's small and red. It outlines the personality perfectively.<br />This person will do everything to manipulate all situations to a place where she/he can be the victim and require rescuing, but not by their significant other....<br />Good luck with the phone tap....<br /><br />Sometimes stopping the pain involves leaving!<br /><br />Ross.

 

[CrappieFisherman]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

I hate to sound cruel, but shes a pig<br />Lives like one, acts like one, and after a lifetime of being a pig, wants YOU to keep her sty clean<br /><br />and its hard as hell to admit you screwed up<br /><br />its even harder to leave, to pay her for your half of the house that you kept clean, you paid for, etc<br /><br />But for you, for your boy, you MUST LEAVE<br /><br />it doesnt take strength to "hang on"<br /><br />real strength is letting go<br /><br />GO. Be happy. And have a GOOD life

 

[ebbtide176]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

i pray for your resolution heinz. <br /><br />ps: listen well when you get advice on mental health issues from rossj

 

[ezbtr]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

Originally posted by kenimpzoom:<br />Make her read this post. If she gets POed and defensive, its over. If she says she is sorry and wants to fix things, then give it a try.<br /><br />Also, as far as her kids, you need to get a straight answer from wife. Either they are going to respect you and help with the housework, or wife will take care of it all. If wife says she will take care of it, then explain to her you are washing your hands of all parenting, including telling her when the kids are doing wrong things. Just stay completely out of it (hard to do I know, but much less stressful).<br /><br />Also, yelling is part of being a parent. Kids dont listen. I have to tell the 8 year old son about 5 times to do something, each time getting louder. That is just the way it is with some kids.<br /><br />Oh the kids do do chores about 3-4 times after you ask them sometimes, but the way they talk to me about it, whine, act like little girls and go to mommy to hide behind her skirt, is ridiculous. They'll question my basic requests and go ask mom. grrrr. They talk back lots, act fine in public but wayyyy different at home. Lots of folks notice that, it's an embarrassment. Wife does the "your the stepparent, you cant touch them", **** that!Basically they are hyper, messy and extremely disrespectful. That is a learned trait. I told oldest tonight, just do whats asked when its asked and no worries, Simple. I have ignored their whining when they have been let stay up to late,and let good lod mom deal with em, duhhh, I cant beleive the BASIC things I have to tell her! This is their moms way of rebelling at abusive ex, actually. They are NOT the first kids of divorce, get the **** over it. My daughters told me, I would have knocked them silly for that type of behavior. And I would have. Punishment is non existent except by me. So I'm always the bad guy, ewww I make em cleanup!! Oh horrors!<br />I don't mind and completely understand yelling, but so damn much! My girls are 15 and 18 , they were NOT that tough to teach. My ex was/is pretty good w/ them too. <br />Ken

 

[ezbtr]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

Originally posted by Ross J:<br />You don't even have to go to the radio shack if you've got a stereo. Just place a big capacity tape into it and go out. Within a few minutes she'll make that call if thats the truth. I've helped a few mates see the light that way.<br />Remember the addictive personality, ask somebody for an AA book called the "devil within" it's small and red. It outlines the personality perfectively.<br />This person will do everything to manipulate all situations to a place where she/he can be the victim and require rescuing, but not by their significant other....<br />Good luck with the phone tap....<br /><br />Sometimes stopping the pain involves leaving!<br /><br />Ross.

Hey Ross, hope you get this soon, thank YOU and all other guys for posts, I'd appreciate your email correspondence IMMENSELY, if you could , please email me at heinz.forster@copart.com or heinzforster2002@yahoo.com, you have NO idea how much you've helped me, now and in the past, you REALLY dont. I'd appreciate it, Thanks, Heinz

 

[ezbtr]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

Originally posted by Ross J:<br />You don't even have to go to the radio shack if you've got a stereo. Just place a big capacity tape into it and go out. Within a few minutes she'll make that call if thats the truth. I've helped a few mates see the light that way.<br />Remember the addictive personality, ask somebody for an AA book called the "devil within" it's small and red. It outlines the personality perfectively.<br />This person will do everything to manipulate all situations to a place where she/he can be the victim and require rescuing, but not by their significant other....<br />Good luck with the phone tap....<br /><br />Sometimes stopping the pain involves leaving!<br /><br />Ross.

also, I can presume you are a native Kiwi, , my 17 yr old daughter just did a school year in your beautiful country, what an experience for her! (she was in a bit of a "bind" and now she is going for the colleges here! Heinz

 

[ezbtr]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

Originally posted by Ross J:<br />You are talking about a lot of pain and disenchantment, you express anger as if sorry for feeling it. <br />You have something bueatiful with this woman and are bloody scared to loose it even though you say you're ready to split.<br />Are you asking how to stop the pain?<br />Is there anything you are doing to actually help the marriage or is it taking away from it?<br />You've reached a stage where you want to fly but the dad and the man and the child in you says, "Whoa there sport, not yet".<br />The fact you're asking the question suggests that you aren't ready to go just yet.<br />I'm sorry man, I really feel for you, the road you face is difficult and long. It's littered with failure throughout its length. Yet there's a glimmer of hope there isn't there?<br />You could go to these AA meetings with her, you could openly show her how you feel by supporting her recovery. Remember the addicted personality takes a lot of prisioners along the way!<br />Take a break from work, stay with her for a week, then decide your fate. It may be less serious that you think at present.<br />Keep in touch.<br />Regards Ross

oh yeah on AOL IM I'm HKFCOPART

 

[ezbtr]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

Originally posted by ebb:<br />i pray for your resolution heinz. <br /><br />ps: listen well when you get advice on mental health issues from rossj

hey ebb, thanks for advice, i agree, i asked for his email, AOL IM, ALL YOU GUYS ARE GREAT! also something else, I obviously notice that guys like "US" like and dislike so many of the same things, LIKES: fishing, boating, kids,offroading/trucks/4x4's, family, shooting/hunting, (beer/wine :0 ) diving,cars, being on our own, etc. We all must be a "special breed" Boy were I live in N. CA. (concord) us guys are hard to come by, I must look like a ravaged, tree hugger hunting, neo vegetarian, homo hunting, whale killing, baastard??????? Thank God in my work travels, I get to see "real" people in the SOUTH and MIDWEST, "yeah you can smoke in here after you get done eatin your venison and have a drink" - my kid of folks.

 

[Ross J]

Re: OK here I go again.....grrrrrrr - "blended families"

Email sent Heinz.<br />Thanks for the vote of confidence from yourself and Ebb. It really humbles this Kiwi to be of any help at all. Thanks<br />Ross