Kinda long, but funny...<br /><br />There's this guy in a bar getting quite toasted.<br />The Bartender finally asks if he's going to pay his tab.<br />"Bartender, he says..."My Wife just left me, and I just lost my job... I don't have any money. All I want to be right now is very drunk"<br /><br />The bartender says... "Ok...I tell you what. If you do a few tasks for me, then you can drink all the beer you want for the rest of the night"<br /><br />The guy thinks about it for a few, and then says, "Sure..you gotta deal. Whattya need done?"<br /><br />Bartender says, "Well first of all...See that bouncer over there? The tall 7ft. guy with all the muscles?... I want you to knock him out cold"<br /><br />The guy nods patiently...<br /><br />"Now wait...theres more...If you knock the bouncer out, then you can help my pet alligator out back. He has a nasty toothache, and he needs a tooth pulled. I can't get near him, as the toothache just has him all worked up"<br /><br />"And lastly, if you get that tooth pulled, there's one more task" <br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />The bartender says, "My sister is upstairs. She's quite the site. No man won't go near here cause she stinks something fierce, and she's very ugly. Keep in mind she won the State Miss ugly pagent... I need you to satisfy her"<br /><br />If you can do all these tasks, the booze is yours"<br /><br />So off the drunk goes. The bartender waits quietly at the bar thinking this is going to be a riot, one for the books to see this scrawny drunk take on this bouncer.<br /><br />The drunk strolls over to the bouncer, and taps on his shoulder. As soon as the bouncer turned around...WHAM! The drunk popped the bouncer right in the kisser.<br />To the Bartenders amazement, the bouncer staggered a bit and then fell to the floor dead cold.<br /><br />"Where's that Alligator?" he says. "Out that door" the Bartender points.<br /><br />So out he drunk went. <br /><br />A minute of silence and then all hell breaks loose... Things are being thrashed...Stuff being broken, flying around. You can hear screams from the drunk and snaps from the aligator...<br /><br />Then a long and complete silence....<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />The bartender thinks...Oh my God..the guy has to be dead. The Gator ate him.<br />Then the door flies open and the drunk comes staggering through... He's bashed, bruised and beaten. He his clothes are shredded, missing some fingers, and he's bleeding from all over his body...<br /><br />He looks at the bartender and muttered...<br /><br />"Now where's the b!tch that needed the tooth pulled?" <br /><br /> 
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