eurolarva
Rear Admiral
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2003
- Messages
- 4,182
Well we broke the door down to the outhouse and found the Saturday funnies posted on the wall. Here they are<br /><br />A small town charity leader has researched and found one of the most prominent citizens who is a lawyer has never contributed to their charity. The leader calls the attorney and says According to our research you have never contributed to our charity. The attorney responds does your research also show that my mother has serious medical problems and her medical bills far exceed her income? The charity leader is put back and apologizes for bothering him. The attorney then again chimes in that his brother is blind and has no means to support himself. The charity leader feeling about two inches tall apologizes again for bothering the attorney and before he can hang up the attorney say and does your research also show you that my brother in law died leaving my sister with two children and no life insurance. Once again the charity leader apologizes and the lawyer shoots right back at him. If I am not going to give my family any money why do you think I would give you any.<br /><br />Spinner Bait Nut is driving doing 70 mph when a police officer pulls him over. Officer bubbacat asks Spinner why he is in such a hurry. Spinner replies that he is late for work. Officer bubba says what do you do for a living? Spinner replies I am a rectum stretcher. Bubba asks just exactly what is a rectum stretcher. Spinner replies well first I insert 1 finger. Then 2 fingers and then my whole hand, Then I insert my other hand and stretch it out to 6 feet. Bubba asks what do you do with a 6 foot a$$hole. Spinner says put him behind a bridge and give him a radar gun.<br /><br />Bill Clinton dies and meets Peter at the pearly gates. Behind Peter is a bunch of clocks. Bill asks so what are all the clocks for. Peter says they are lie clocks. For every lie a person tells on earth one minute passes. Clinton says whose clock is that. Peter replies that is Abe Lincolns clock as you can see only one minute passed during his life which means he only told one lie in his entire life. Clinton asks whose clock is that. Peter says that is Sister Teresas clock. As you can see she has never told a lie in her entire life. Clinton asks So where is my clock. Peter says God has it in the front office. He is using it as a ceiling fan.
