SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
Alabama Jokes, no offense intended. 
, all states will get their's. <br /><br />State Slogan: Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity <br /><br />Alabama Dumb Laws<br /><br />It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. <br /><br />Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. <br /><br />It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. <br /><br />Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death. <br /><br />Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. <br /><br />Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.<br /><br />It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.<br /><br />You must have windshield wipers on your car. <br /><br />You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. <br /><br />Masks may not be worn in public.<br /><br />Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex. <br /><br />You may not drive barefooted. <br /><br />It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.<br /><br />It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.<br /><br />Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.<br /><br />Incestous marriages are legal.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Anniston<br />You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Jasper <br />It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb. <br />__________________________________________________<br />Lee County <br />It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday. <br />__________________________________________________<br />Mobile <br />It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.<br /><br />It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Montgomery <br />It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed) <br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Alabama State Lottery?<br />A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?<br />A: Everyone has the same DNA.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Birmingham, Alabama burned down?<br />A: Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.<br />__________________________________________________<br />A new law recently passed in Alabama: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Alabama?<br />A: I-20 and I-10<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?<br />A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.<br />__________________________________________________<br />An Alabaman came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry on over here. My house is on fire!"<br /><br />"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"<br /><br />"Say, don't you still have them big red trucks?"<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: Why do folks in Alabama go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?<br /><br />A: 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
, all states will get their's. <br /><br />State Slogan: Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity <br /><br />Alabama Dumb Laws<br /><br />It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. <br /><br />Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. <br /><br />It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. <br /><br />Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death. <br /><br />Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. <br /><br />Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.<br /><br />It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.<br /><br />You must have windshield wipers on your car. <br /><br />You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. <br /><br />Masks may not be worn in public.<br /><br />Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex. <br /><br />You may not drive barefooted. <br /><br />It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.<br /><br />It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.<br /><br />Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.<br /><br />Incestous marriages are legal.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Anniston<br />You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Jasper <br />It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb. <br />__________________________________________________<br />Lee County <br />It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday. <br />__________________________________________________<br />Mobile <br />It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.<br /><br />It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Montgomery <br />It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed) <br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Alabama State Lottery?<br />A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?<br />A: Everyone has the same DNA.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Birmingham, Alabama burned down?<br />A: Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.<br />__________________________________________________<br />A new law recently passed in Alabama: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Alabama?<br />A: I-20 and I-10<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?<br />A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.<br />__________________________________________________<br />An Alabaman came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry on over here. My house is on fire!"<br /><br />"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"<br /><br />"Say, don't you still have them big red trucks?"<br />__________________________________________________<br />Q: Why do folks in Alabama go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?<br /><br />A: 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.