SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Curing Common Cold"<br /><br />"It's just a cold," the doctor said. "There is no<br />cure, and you'll just have to live with it until it<br />goes away."<br /><br />"But Doctor," the patient whined, "it's making<br />me so miserable."<br /><br />The doctor rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.<br />Then he said, "Look, go home and take a hot<br />bath. Then put a bathing suit on and run<br />around the block three or four times."<br /><br />"What!" the patient exclaimed. "I'll get pneumonia!"<br /><br />"We have a cure for pneumonia," the doctor said.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Travel Agent's Generosity"<br /><br />A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older<br />lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window<br />at the posters showing the glamorous destinations<br />around the world. The agent had had a good week, and<br />the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a<br />rare feeling of generosity.<br /><br />He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on<br />your pension you could never hope to have a holiday,<br />so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my<br />expense, and I won't take no for an answer."<br /><br />He took them inside and asked his secretary to write<br />two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel.<br />They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were<br />on their way.<br /><br />About a month later the little lady came in to his shop.<br /><br />"And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.<br /><br />"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she<br />said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me.<br />Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Short Jokes About Dating... "<br /><br />I'm dating a homeless woman. It's easier to talk<br />her into staying over.<br /><br />Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for<br />a date on Saturday night.<br /><br />Did you hear about the man who went on "The<br />Dating Game?" He chose himself - and scored!<br /><br />Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of<br />anatomy.<br /><br />Why is it a mistake to date a necrophiliac?<br />He just wants you for your body.<br /><br />I've been on so many blind dates, I should get<br />a free dog.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"A Jealous Husband"<br /><br />A jealous husband hired a private detective to check<br />on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted<br />more than a written report; he wanted video of his<br />wife's activities.<br /><br />A week later, the detective returned with a video. They<br />sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was<br />less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting<br />another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the<br />park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor<br />cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He<br />saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities<br />with utter glee.<br /><br />"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.<br /><br />The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up<br />there on the screen!"<br /><br />The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could<br />be so much fun!"
