SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
New Definitions<br /><br />ADULT:<br />A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.<br /><br />BEAUTY PARLOR:<br />A place where women curl up and dye.<br /><br />CANNIBAL:<br />Someone who is fed up with people.<br /><br />CHICKENS:<br />The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.<br /><br />COMMITTEE:<br />A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.<br /><br />DUST:<br />Mud with the juice squeezed out.<br /><br />EGOTIST: <br />Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.<br /><br />GOSSIP:<br />A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.<br /><br />HANDKERCHIEF:<br />Cold Storage.<br /><br />INFLATION:<br />Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.<br /><br />MYTH:<br />A female moth.<br /><br />MOSQUITO:<br />An insect that makes you like flies better.<br /><br />RAISIN:<br />Grape with a sunburn.<br /><br />SECRET:<br />Something you tell to one person at a time.<br /><br />SKELETON:<br />A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.<br /><br />TOOTHACHE:<br />The pain that drives you to extraction.<br /><br />TOMORROW:<br />One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.<br /><br />YAWN:<br />An honest opinion openly expressed.<br /><br />WRINKLES:<br />Something other people have. You have character lines.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Twenty-eight years ago, BUBBAKAT, a <br />Tennessee mountain man, was drafted by <br />the Army. <br /><br />On his first day in boot camp, the Army <br />issued him a comb. That afternoon, an <br />Army barber sheared his head. <br /><br />On his second day, the Army issued him <br />a tooth brush. That afternoon, an Army <br />dentist yanked several of his teeth. <br /><br />On his third day, he was issued a jock <br />strap... <br /><br />The Army is still looking for him.<br />__________________________________________________<br />The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. <br /><br />"Yes," he said. "My dad taught me." <br /><br />"Good! Can you tell me what comes after three." <br /><br />"Four," answers little Johnny. <br /><br />"What comes after six?" <br /><br />"Seven."<br /><br />"Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a good job.<br />What comes after ten?" <br /><br />"A jack," says little Johnny.<br />__________________________________________________<br />And today's quote of the day;<br />"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
