SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Morning Sickness"<br /><br />The neighbor dropped in on her friend and found<br />her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at<br />a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids<br />squabbling loudly in the other room.<br /><br />"What's wrong Marge?" she asked.<br /><br />Marge told her that she had "morning sickness."<br /><br />Surprised the neighbor said, "I didn't even know<br />you were pregnant."<br /><br />"I'm not." the harried young woman replied. "I'm<br />just dang sick of mornings."<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Problem Child"<br /><br />The mother of a problem child was advised by a<br />psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried<br />about your son. I am going to give you a prescription<br />for some tranquillizers that I want you to start<br />taking regularly."<br /><br />On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have<br />the tranquilizers calmed you down any?"<br /><br />"Oh, yes" the mother answered. "They do wonders<br />for me."<br /><br />"And how is your son now?" he asked.<br /><br />"Who cares?" she replied.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Medical Breakthrough"<br /><br />First there was Psychotherapy,<br /><br />Then there was PsychoPharmacology<br /><br />Now there is ATTITUDE SURGERY!<br /><br />If you have tried the traditional mental health<br />route...and are still having attitude problems....<br />consider having an OPTORECTOMY procedure.<br /><br />The purpose of this operation is to sever the cord<br />that connects your rectum to your eyes and,<br />hopefully, alleviates your poopy outlook on life.
