SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Helpful Solutions"<br /><br />"I had the strangest dream last night," a man<br />was telling his psychiatrist.<br /><br />"I saw my mother, but when she turned around<br />to look at me, I noticed that she had your face.<br />And you can imagine, I found this very disturbing,<br />and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't<br />get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting<br />for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a<br />Coke, and came right over here for my appointment.<br />I thought you could help me explain the meaning of<br />this strange dream."<br /><br />The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before<br />responding: "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Three Monsters"<br /><br />A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about<br />his dreams.<br /><br />"Every night," the man said, "I dream that<br />these three hideous monsters are sitting<br />on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me."<br /><br />"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can<br />cure you of this problem. But the treatment<br />will be costly. I charge $200 per weekly<br />session and it may take a couple of years<br />to solve your problem."<br /><br />"Two hundred dollars per session!" the man<br />gasped. "Never mind getting rid of the monsters,<br />Doctor. I think I'll go home and try to make friends<br />with them!"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"No Moe, Please!"<br /><br />Census Taker: "How many children do you have?"<br /><br />Woman: "Four."<br /><br />Census Taker: "May I have their names, please?"<br /><br />Woman: "Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George."<br /><br />Census Taker: "Okay, that's fine. But may I ask<br />why you named your fourth child George?"<br /><br />Woman: "Because we didn't want any Moe."
